Ulsavanaalukal
Other than the usual regular items of Panchavaadyam, Thayambaka- the chenda (percussion instrument) concerts- this years repertoire had Bharathanatyam recital by Rajashri Varier- she was a dancer and singer and also worked at the TVM doordarshan. Her face was familiar to most malayalis- who watched TVM doordarshan- She looked very young and small – her performance was good- but there seemed to be a kind of dissociation as she performed on stage- her movements and expressions were perfect and yet…there was something that I cannot quite put my finger on- that seemed to be missing- she could not complete her last item- Thillana- due to severe cramps- seems she had been down with fever and stringent rehearsals and the travel made her weak.
This year too, there was “Koodiyaattom” the Sanskrit dance drama- and it was much better than last year. The story enacted was a glimpse from Kalidasa’s “Shakunthalam”- and was presented as a visual narration by the “jester”- or the “Vidooshakan”- Each scene was explained in Malayalam and hence there was no problem in understanding the nuances- the narration is generously laced with humour and was a beautiful experience. The scene performed was that of how King Dushyantha sets out on a hunting spree, reaches the forest and there upon glimpsing the beautiful shakunthala is enamoured by her. The Vidooshakan narrates the events with contemporary societal and political allusions making it all the more entertaining.
The flute recital by Sri Kudamalur Janrdanan was very good- melliflous- i've always liked the flute- has an ethereal quality abt the sound of it- but somehow was unable to enjoy Dr. Sri valsans vocal concert much- they said he was good- but somehow I was not moved...Sanjay Subrahmanyan's concert the next evening was a stunning contrast- it was splendid to say the least- I guess he has that quality which can move the connosieur and the lay man alike- that he was having a great time playing with the swaras- added to both his and the listener's enjoyment- liked his rather no fuss air- no gimmicks- (which mebbe the flautist cud be accused of)- there was no "programmish" feel to his presentation either- he came, he sat, he sang to his hearts content, he got up- left- while Dr. Srivalsan, and the flautist had the "presentation" part rather formally- esp the flautist- Sanjay seemed most spontaneous- I liked that- while the flautist had a very neatly charted out "performance repertoire" and Dr. Sri valsan seemed amateurish in comparison- if I may dare to say so- Sri valsan also seemed to slip pitch wise now and then- may be with years- he'd be good- I’m not academically qualified to comment , I can evaluate only based on my ”reaction" to what I heard-
I had heard Sanjay live b4, at trichy- but the crowd was menacing and cud not get to enjoy as much as I would've liked to- the sampradaya bhajan on the last day was good- this same team had sung b4 in our colony in trichy - and it had been a very wonderful experience- here too they were very good- and i think the audience did enjoy it- for me the difference was that at trichy in our colony it was a spiritual experience, while here it was a stage performance.
I did not watch all the Kathakali stories in entirety- just in bits and pieces- this year most of the artistes were unfamiliar- and that did dilute my viewing experience- besides it rained on two days, and the venue had to be shifted from the open grounds to the closed, cramped environs of the agrashala. The puttars were very much at home, and they enjoyed the various programs, I was gratified- they stayed awake for some of the Kathakali stories-
Besides the festival repertoire, I enjoyed the company of my uncles- and their families- I savour my moments with them-
And thus yet another year’s temple festival had gone by…
Monday, May 23, 2005
At the Temple Festival-1
Returning- for now
2 days later, we left for Kottakkal- that special place in my heart- because it was temple Festival time…still I was not too enthusiastic abt going- the reasons- well, there were a few reasons which were not logical enough- as usual I was wary abt the reception, abt feeling welcome, I was doubtful if I’d be interested enough to stay awake thru the nightly performances of Kathakali- of late a strange kind of detachment has creeped over my soul- a a weird kind of disinterest in several things- why, and how, I’m not sure- I discern a sense of inclination towards keeping to myself, a need to dissociate myself from things happening around me- a lack of interest in participation- a need to stay aloof from what and whom, am not very sure, and I have to consciously work at arousing myself from this dumb stupor- simply because I feel that I’m not feeling the right things- I think it is a more selfish kind of instinct than anything else, and I have no idea why I feel this way- and perhaps it is this safe margin of virtuality that attracts me more than reality. Is it some kind of escapism? Virtuality entails lesser risk- risk of what- not sure exactly- may be something to do with space and freedom and privacy…
Anyways, let that be- yea, so here we were back again in my land of memories- yet another had gone by, and once again I was breathing the air of my favourite place. As usual there was a tinge of medicinal fragrance to the air with the Ayurvedic medicinal factory close by…I closed my eyes and breathed deeply- and in my mind I had returned home- I opened my eyes and familiarity vapourised…outwardly everything seemed the same- almost…but there was something different to the feeling of being there- last year too I had felt it, this year even more…what had changed- was it the place or perhaps it was me who had changed. Last year, there were still a few remnant vestiges of an overboding sense of loss- of a sense of alienness ( is there such a word?) a feeling of vague unrest…but today something was different. I had been clinging to a fast depleting sense of belonging, unwilling to let go, insisting on remembered belongingness- a sense of remembered proprietership. and yet today- I did not feel the need to hold on anymore- I was finally ready to let go- I was finally ready to accept that I had moved on- and so had everything else and everyone else- I no longer belonged- I was only a visitor- I had been holding on to a mirage- This place was no more a coming back to- it was just a visit- and that is how it would always be- I belonged elsewhere- atleast for now- until I move on again- why had I been so reluctant to accept the facts? Why did I want to cling on to something so ephemeral? I don’t know…somewhere it still rankles, but I can take it now… of course I still had the memories- nobody can take that away, that which had been- once, long ago…
Some of the older people recognized my face- they remembered how I too had been a part of this place- the youngsters of course were courteous to the visitor- they had no idea how much “their” place meant to this visitor who would return to another place…they had no idea- Until last year, I felt slightly miffed at this feeling of not being accepted as belonging, but this year, I did not. Yet again, a few sleeping memories rustled- caught up with times- made polite enquiries- how have u been? Everything fine? and a whole year got reduced into a single syllable ‘yes’. Where did all the intermittent moments go? What did it matter at this point of time? And finally after the festival was over, the festoons and capers came down- the drums and cymbals silenced, - Farewell…yet again- until may be next year? And what are the moments that await each of us until then?
2 days later, we left for Kottakkal- that special place in my heart- because it was temple Festival time…still I was not too enthusiastic abt going- the reasons- well, there were a few reasons which were not logical enough- as usual I was wary abt the reception, abt feeling welcome, I was doubtful if I’d be interested enough to stay awake thru the nightly performances of Kathakali- of late a strange kind of detachment has creeped over my soul- a a weird kind of disinterest in several things- why, and how, I’m not sure- I discern a sense of inclination towards keeping to myself, a need to dissociate myself from things happening around me- a lack of interest in participation- a need to stay aloof from what and whom, am not very sure, and I have to consciously work at arousing myself from this dumb stupor- simply because I feel that I’m not feeling the right things- I think it is a more selfish kind of instinct than anything else, and I have no idea why I feel this way- and perhaps it is this safe margin of virtuality that attracts me more than reality. Is it some kind of escapism? Virtuality entails lesser risk- risk of what- not sure exactly- may be something to do with space and freedom and privacy…
Anyways, let that be- yea, so here we were back again in my land of memories- yet another had gone by, and once again I was breathing the air of my favourite place. As usual there was a tinge of medicinal fragrance to the air with the Ayurvedic medicinal factory close by…I closed my eyes and breathed deeply- and in my mind I had returned home- I opened my eyes and familiarity vapourised…outwardly everything seemed the same- almost…but there was something different to the feeling of being there- last year too I had felt it, this year even more…what had changed- was it the place or perhaps it was me who had changed. Last year, there were still a few remnant vestiges of an overboding sense of loss- of a sense of alienness ( is there such a word?) a feeling of vague unrest…but today something was different. I had been clinging to a fast depleting sense of belonging, unwilling to let go, insisting on remembered belongingness- a sense of remembered proprietership. and yet today- I did not feel the need to hold on anymore- I was finally ready to let go- I was finally ready to accept that I had moved on- and so had everything else and everyone else- I no longer belonged- I was only a visitor- I had been holding on to a mirage- This place was no more a coming back to- it was just a visit- and that is how it would always be- I belonged elsewhere- atleast for now- until I move on again- why had I been so reluctant to accept the facts? Why did I want to cling on to something so ephemeral? I don’t know…somewhere it still rankles, but I can take it now… of course I still had the memories- nobody can take that away, that which had been- once, long ago…
Some of the older people recognized my face- they remembered how I too had been a part of this place- the youngsters of course were courteous to the visitor- they had no idea how much “their” place meant to this visitor who would return to another place…they had no idea- Until last year, I felt slightly miffed at this feeling of not being accepted as belonging, but this year, I did not. Yet again, a few sleeping memories rustled- caught up with times- made polite enquiries- how have u been? Everything fine? and a whole year got reduced into a single syllable ‘yes’. Where did all the intermittent moments go? What did it matter at this point of time? And finally after the festival was over, the festoons and capers came down- the drums and cymbals silenced, - Farewell…yet again- until may be next year? And what are the moments that await each of us until then?
While on Vacation...
The heat is sweltering, agninakshathram is in its flaming splendour- this vacation has been one hectic sultry, sweaty hols..and I have to consciously seek out the random, cool, memorable moments. Sometimes its amazing that the climate can loom so hugely and detrimentally over one’s experiences…
I’m now finally back after a hectic vacation- once again settled into the ‘routine’ that is Life…and yet for me it is so much fulfilling, soothening and cosy abt coming back into my space. However I’m deprived of my virtual forays, because there is some problem with the broadband access server. DSS seems like another world, another time…esp with the shift to the new space. I had been putting off registering and then pottering with the various options until after the vacations, and now that the holidays are over, I still am out of reach. It has been a long time, and I am thinking over the memory span of the virtual world. As it is I have been into the depths of “real life” these past 2 months…where the virtual world seemed like Alice’s Wonderland… I was among people who had no idea of my “other” world…it all seemed so far away and unreal- like a mirage, an illusion, as I was frantically smothering my face and neck with a dripping towel in a vain attempt to cope with the excruciating heat as our train chugged through the dry, arid tracks of Andhra-
If my last vacation was languorously laid back and relaxed, this year it was quite the opposite- Packing, unpacking, washing, ironing, settling down sums up the hols…and in between, there were these snatches of some special moments…
I first went to my parents home in April- V saw us off…and I had already begun to miss him- I shed tears unabashedly- I always did that- V tried to make light of the situation, the elder puttar was embarrassedly checking if the other passengers were watching. The train lugged off impersonally, and V vanished from my view…I swallowed hard…We bought some books from the Erode station- it was noon when we reached Palakkad- Achhan was waiting for us…amma had lunch waiting at home.
next: at the temple festival....
I’m now finally back after a hectic vacation- once again settled into the ‘routine’ that is Life…and yet for me it is so much fulfilling, soothening and cosy abt coming back into my space. However I’m deprived of my virtual forays, because there is some problem with the broadband access server. DSS seems like another world, another time…esp with the shift to the new space. I had been putting off registering and then pottering with the various options until after the vacations, and now that the holidays are over, I still am out of reach. It has been a long time, and I am thinking over the memory span of the virtual world. As it is I have been into the depths of “real life” these past 2 months…where the virtual world seemed like Alice’s Wonderland… I was among people who had no idea of my “other” world…it all seemed so far away and unreal- like a mirage, an illusion, as I was frantically smothering my face and neck with a dripping towel in a vain attempt to cope with the excruciating heat as our train chugged through the dry, arid tracks of Andhra-
If my last vacation was languorously laid back and relaxed, this year it was quite the opposite- Packing, unpacking, washing, ironing, settling down sums up the hols…and in between, there were these snatches of some special moments…
I first went to my parents home in April- V saw us off…and I had already begun to miss him- I shed tears unabashedly- I always did that- V tried to make light of the situation, the elder puttar was embarrassedly checking if the other passengers were watching. The train lugged off impersonally, and V vanished from my view…I swallowed hard…We bought some books from the Erode station- it was noon when we reached Palakkad- Achhan was waiting for us…amma had lunch waiting at home.
next: at the temple festival....
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Trapping Time...
See what I hold in my tightly clenched fist? I’ll let u have a tiny peek- just for a moment- there…saw that? I have Time trapped within my fist…you don’t believe me? I don’t blame you…you who are so busy – you who don’t realize when the day is over and night has begun…you who cannot watch the sun set and the stars rise…
Slowly, very slowly, I loosen my fist ever so little…and a handful of moments slither too soon…In a flash I close my fist tighter than ever- but alas- a few precious moments are already lost to Eternity- I close a single eye and peek thru the gaps in my fingers of my clenched fist- aha- Time is yet again trapped- I breathe a sigh of relief- and yet a few stealthy moments keeps trickling through the tiny gaps- I watch helplessly…counting the truant moments …
A train flashes by along the broad gauge tracks outside- the boggies are a blur- and I watch from my balcony as if in slow motion- the second needle ticks by inside my home- an on your watch- marking off the same moments from the slice of Eternity and yet some moments are heavy, and some flit by like the caress of a feather- Theory of Relativity?
A friend of mine tells me he feels like he’s caught in a rollercoaster that does not seem to stop- whirrrrrrrr- round and round – it goes…turning him around along with it… no time to even feel queasy-
Was wondering would it be possible to lend time to those who need some spare moments- except that maybe I’d add one clause- just in case- to be returned on demand with interest…
Slowly, very slowly, I loosen my fist ever so little…and a handful of moments slither too soon…In a flash I close my fist tighter than ever- but alas- a few precious moments are already lost to Eternity- I close a single eye and peek thru the gaps in my fingers of my clenched fist- aha- Time is yet again trapped- I breathe a sigh of relief- and yet a few stealthy moments keeps trickling through the tiny gaps- I watch helplessly…counting the truant moments …
A train flashes by along the broad gauge tracks outside- the boggies are a blur- and I watch from my balcony as if in slow motion- the second needle ticks by inside my home- an on your watch- marking off the same moments from the slice of Eternity and yet some moments are heavy, and some flit by like the caress of a feather- Theory of Relativity?
A friend of mine tells me he feels like he’s caught in a rollercoaster that does not seem to stop- whirrrrrrrr- round and round – it goes…turning him around along with it… no time to even feel queasy-
Was wondering would it be possible to lend time to those who need some spare moments- except that maybe I’d add one clause- just in case- to be returned on demand with interest…
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Just like that...
I have been wondering why I have not been able to write anything of late…I guess it happens sometimes to everybody- one just loses interest in everything…writing seems boring - and in some of the other blogspots, I notice people sometimes record each day as it passes by…and I wondered how it would be if I did something like that?
In that case, my blogs would technically be almost the same everyday- I guess, but if I were to jot down the thoughts, the feelings of each day- then may be it would be different- and I am sure that some of the thoughts would be very, very detrimental to Ardra’s image here! :- )
Ah- ha- I’ve become a victim of being stuck in an image…y’day, as I was rambling away in a mail to one of my friends here on DSS…I just went on writing some incoherent rubbish- but upon a closer look, decided it was a bit blog- material! Eureeks! ( a mix of eureka and eeks!- in case u’re wondering)
So here you are, and don’t blame me if u feel I’m ranting…like I read on some other blog- its my blog, and I chose to rant here for now! :- )
Time and again, we feel bound to stick to definitions of ourselves sometimes given to us by others or sometimes as we perceive ourselves...and that somehow curbs our spontaneous responses, gestures, actions...sometimes these boxes are deliberately created by us and sometimes they evolve on their own without us being aware of it...people around us form their own perceptions of us coloured by their own experiences and attitudes...and when they respond to us accordingly, we unconsciously react according to these perceptions...thus fulfilling their perceptions of us...and at times when we deviate from these perceptions...they're confused...while actually we're not just what they thought we were…
Ardra- when she started blogging was a different person- then the other bloggers began responding in a particular way, and Ardra was evolving accordingly- and tho Ardra is definitely a part of N- but only in parts...and when sometimes more of N emerges thru Ardra, I wonder if the other bloggers are finding discrepancies between Ardra and N...mebbe some prefer Ardra to N!
From my interactions with some bloggers on a personal level, I realise that the Ardra they expected was different from the N they met...I have no idea what their reaction is ...but some of the responses have definitely undergone some kind of change- for the better or worse, I'm not really sure... some seemed to be more comfortable with the A they knew only thru blogs- the earlier ones...and as more of N spilled thru- in the blogs/mails , responses kept changing...but yet there are those who prefer N- and then there are those whose responses remain the same- both to Ardra and N- did not matter...but yes, the image cultivation was never deliberate, it just happened – my blogs have always been spontaneous, but I have chosen to explore only certain aspects on my blogs- not because I want to keep some aspects hidden but only because I’m more comfortable this way…
And now I don’t know if all this is just in my imagination…actually, nothing of this matters even…but I so desperately wanted to post a blog…
ahh..now that this rant looks to be sufficiently lengthy to qualify as a blog- hopefully- let me stop…
{Thank you friend, the unsuspecting one who has been subjected to this rant twice over- in my mail, and now in this blog…of course assuming that he/she is reading this ;-) }
In that case, my blogs would technically be almost the same everyday- I guess, but if I were to jot down the thoughts, the feelings of each day- then may be it would be different- and I am sure that some of the thoughts would be very, very detrimental to Ardra’s image here! :- )
Ah- ha- I’ve become a victim of being stuck in an image…y’day, as I was rambling away in a mail to one of my friends here on DSS…I just went on writing some incoherent rubbish- but upon a closer look, decided it was a bit blog- material! Eureeks! ( a mix of eureka and eeks!- in case u’re wondering)
So here you are, and don’t blame me if u feel I’m ranting…like I read on some other blog- its my blog, and I chose to rant here for now! :- )
Time and again, we feel bound to stick to definitions of ourselves sometimes given to us by others or sometimes as we perceive ourselves...and that somehow curbs our spontaneous responses, gestures, actions...sometimes these boxes are deliberately created by us and sometimes they evolve on their own without us being aware of it...people around us form their own perceptions of us coloured by their own experiences and attitudes...and when they respond to us accordingly, we unconsciously react according to these perceptions...thus fulfilling their perceptions of us...and at times when we deviate from these perceptions...they're confused...while actually we're not just what they thought we were…
Ardra- when she started blogging was a different person- then the other bloggers began responding in a particular way, and Ardra was evolving accordingly- and tho Ardra is definitely a part of N- but only in parts...and when sometimes more of N emerges thru Ardra, I wonder if the other bloggers are finding discrepancies between Ardra and N...mebbe some prefer Ardra to N!
From my interactions with some bloggers on a personal level, I realise that the Ardra they expected was different from the N they met...I have no idea what their reaction is ...but some of the responses have definitely undergone some kind of change- for the better or worse, I'm not really sure... some seemed to be more comfortable with the A they knew only thru blogs- the earlier ones...and as more of N spilled thru- in the blogs/mails , responses kept changing...but yet there are those who prefer N- and then there are those whose responses remain the same- both to Ardra and N- did not matter...but yes, the image cultivation was never deliberate, it just happened – my blogs have always been spontaneous, but I have chosen to explore only certain aspects on my blogs- not because I want to keep some aspects hidden but only because I’m more comfortable this way…
And now I don’t know if all this is just in my imagination…actually, nothing of this matters even…but I so desperately wanted to post a blog…
ahh..now that this rant looks to be sufficiently lengthy to qualify as a blog- hopefully- let me stop…
{Thank you friend, the unsuspecting one who has been subjected to this rant twice over- in my mail, and now in this blog…of course assuming that he/she is reading this ;-) }
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Me too...
Another Valentine gone by- for me- its just like any other day- but I do like to see, hear , read all abt it- I like the idea of people expressing love- any day- anytime, anyhow…and if the speciality of the day motivates somebody to do something specific for love- fine.. watching people happy in Love makes me feel good abt life…
Everybody who has heard abt our drive to B’lore are wondering- wow! That’s really something- ..and all I can say- He has done so much more…such acts are not isolated gestures, it is just the continuation of a persitent feeling, it is spontaneous and just happens…
And I say, this is just one of the many other things…there are so many other instances- I could go on and on…it may not be about cards, gifts, chocolates or flowers…but it sure means Love, caring, sharing, respecting, cherishing, adoring…
It also means, criticizing, correcting, guiding, mending,
It does not mean there are no fights, arguments, sulks, tantrums…
But it also means apologizing, making amends, smiling etc…etc :-)
It has been 16 years now, and we have seen many things together…bad times, good times, pains, sorrows, fears, anger, mischief, laughter…
I don’t want to think of him as separate from me- He is me and I’m him, and this has nothing to do with either of us not having an individuality of our own..it just means having an enhanced personality..
He has his likes, dislikes, principles, I have mine…but that does not make us belong to different teams…
I am not concerned about words , days- all I know is he is my life…if He is with me, then everything is worthwhile, if not then there is no meaning to anything...
And I pray to The Almighty to please take care of him…look after him….be good to him and I’ll be fine…Thank you God…
Everybody who has heard abt our drive to B’lore are wondering- wow! That’s really something- ..and all I can say- He has done so much more…such acts are not isolated gestures, it is just the continuation of a persitent feeling, it is spontaneous and just happens…
And I say, this is just one of the many other things…there are so many other instances- I could go on and on…it may not be about cards, gifts, chocolates or flowers…but it sure means Love, caring, sharing, respecting, cherishing, adoring…
It also means, criticizing, correcting, guiding, mending,
It does not mean there are no fights, arguments, sulks, tantrums…
But it also means apologizing, making amends, smiling etc…etc :-)
It has been 16 years now, and we have seen many things together…bad times, good times, pains, sorrows, fears, anger, mischief, laughter…
I don’t want to think of him as separate from me- He is me and I’m him, and this has nothing to do with either of us not having an individuality of our own..it just means having an enhanced personality..
He has his likes, dislikes, principles, I have mine…but that does not make us belong to different teams…
I am not concerned about words , days- all I know is he is my life…if He is with me, then everything is worthwhile, if not then there is no meaning to anything...
And I pray to The Almighty to please take care of him…look after him….be good to him and I’ll be fine…Thank you God…
Monday, February 14, 2005
When Virtuality Met Reality...
It was 1.20 a.m on 12 Saturday when we hit the sack at our uncle’s place in B’lore…we had started at abt 5 p.m on 11th fri, after the kids came back from school..Tho tired after the journey, sleep seemed to be far away…and my last thoughts before traipsing off into slumber land was of course about the meet a few hours away- abt my “friends” whom I was to meet soon- that I was excited would be an understatement-
I had been refreshing Vamshi ’s memories abt the other “bloggers” ( at this point this term sounds too detached)- I was eager that he enjoy the meet as much as I was sure I would- I did not want him to feel unfamiliar at the meet-( I needn’t have worried abt that at all- everybody knew the non blogging members as well as the bloggers- and they were welcomed with warmth, there was just no question of feeling unfamiliar…)
Waking up early was always difficult, but not today- …we were supposed to reach the meetinng point atleast by 8.20 a.m- but we reached a bit late- Uncle dropped us and he wished us a happy trip- We could see the others already gathered on the other side of the road-
The b’lore air was freezing- my heart was thumping- I could identify everyone- IBL, Ananth and Asha of course, I had seen them before- but the rest were easy to place too- my hands were shivering- was it the chill weather or was it the excitement? Only Suresh, I could not place and I asked ano- and she told me-we decided that he did not in the least look like he was bottled at all-
The first few moments passed in a crazy blur as intros were made- I could not be with everybody all at once and I was trying to- lil D, ano,ano’s husband, Meena and her bubbly kids- Salonii- Asha, Nithya- Chander,sumit, suresh,ananth, and Kcu- Kcu stepped upto me and said that he was Bhattathiri- I almost fainted…and I confess I believed him- and it was only when Meenu assured me that he was joking did I recover from the shock-
And then I realized that Salonii would not be able to accompany us- it was a terrible disappointment – both for us and her- but it just could not be helped- and tho we understood her predicament- it did not deter us from recriminating her – abt her desertion- betrayal-
We were treated to some wonderful coffee by salonii- we were getting to talk to one another without the aid of db- we were chattering away, giggling, guffawing- blissfully unaware of others in the place- right then the whole world concentrated into our meet- it was just DB come alive-
After coffee, we walked up to where we were to board the van- plans were being revised..the chill air was warming up- yap yap yap we went- and then we set off for Thalakkadu after bidding goodbye to salonii- felt bad to leave her back but nothing could be done- like ananth said- this meet had come to be becos of her in the first place- we did consider kidnapping her and whisking her off with us but then thought better not complicate matters.
We settled into the van- Meenu took out delicious home made sandwiches- lil d was as excited as us- she had no qualms abt being passed around among us- and she remained playful through out…she was having a bad cold, hope the trip did not worsen it...
Chander talked more than Nithya :-)- Asha was totally silent in the beginning- (which she made up for later tho)- we suspected that she had fallen asleep- Ano’s husband told us where he used to live -and he mentioned something abt the location being very convenient :-).
Meena kept reminding us that she was silent because rides made her feel queasy – she showed us her college- Sumit was christened as Mr. Main Hoo na by Meenu’s elder daughter-
After reaching Thalakkad- we immediately set about lunch- the place was abounding with monkeys- the lunch was delicious- Vamshi kept trying to learn new words in Kannada and insisted on speaking(?) in Kannada-
After lunch, we moved on to the river banks- the weather was quite hot now- most of them went into the waters- I preferred to stay back- the children had a blast- I was entrusted with a few mobiles, cameras,purses and Kcu and me became co conspirators and we seriously considered absconding with the booty- but had to abandon the plans becos my co conspirator backed away at the last moment and anyway- Vamshi would be lost without me- so we decided against it-
Suresh, Sumit and Kcu took the kids for boating- and I do not know what happened there- my elder son said there was some interesting discussion abt snakes that he enjoyed…
Meenu, Asha, me, Nithya, Chander, Ananth, Vamshi - watched from the shores- Nithya tried to test the probability of how well her cell would function when submerged in water- did not turn out to be a very clever idea- but Chander was sure it would work once it got dried in the sun-
Ano and her DH had a tough time dragging lil D out of the waters- she wanted to go back- finally when they brought her ashore- she kept picking the sand...
After boating, we refreshed ourselves with cool drinks, tender coconut- we proceeded to the temples . The temples were submerged in sand- the sight was amazing- excavation is still going on- but by now, all were tired, we trudged wearily back to the van- it was time for the trip back…
We played anthakshari- sumit and ananth were belting out these plaintive- numbers- you know those bachelor worthy kind of songs- they even expressed dissaproval when we married veterans joined – they seemed to believe that such songs were exclusively meant for them to sing- Ananth was singing these Kannada songs- to the effect of “where is she…when will she come”- or something similar, and Sumit was crooning a few “jilted” numbers with so much of feeling-
Chander looked mighty pleased when Nithya sang "o saathi re…” Ano, Asha and Meena seemed to know every song ever composed in Hindi, Kannada- Kcu also joined in, Suresh however was distracted and seemed preoccupied with his mobile- ananth explained that he was missing his wife…Sal called in between and Asha immediately sought her advice for a song- Vamshi of course was in full form- he seemed to have forgotten that these were MY friends- he had happily adopted all of them! He had a blast pulling my legs- but I have magnanimously forgiven him for bringing me all the way for this meet- the flip side being- now I can never crib abt him here- nobody will never ever believe me again…. :-(
We got down to take a few pictures of the sunset- we played Chinese whisper…Vamshi became wicked during this time- some of us talked abt how they first heard abt the weblogs- how they started blogging/commenting- we talked abt the other bloggers- and though it was the 12 of us on this trip it was like most of our other friends too were invisibly present…
Ananth, yes, it is true we got delayed by a few hours, but I for one did not regret a wee bit the extra time that I got with you all…
We were nearing the fag end of our jouney- when Virtuality merged into Reality- and suddenly we saw a bus right in front of our van- it had a huge ad on the back- “Sulekha Classifieds” and tho it was abt the classifieds- for me it was like a special moment- because it was Sulekha after all who got me in touch with some special people…Thank you each one of you…
We said our Goodbyes-- I know I ought to feel grateful for the time I got to spend with these wonderful people who had become so special- and yet I could not help feeling gloomy at the prospect of saying Goodbye- Also, I had this feeling of having left many things unsaid…I had a whole day with them, and yet kuch kehna baaki tha-
Ano and family got down with us at the Rly station- The Day was finally over- and tho we were tired, I could not go to sleep for a long time afterwards, because my mind was awake with some great memories…
And how would this post be complete if I did not mention Vamshi for taking me for this wonderful trip- and even better for adopting my friends as his own…
And let me end here with the hope that there are many more such meets…
I hope I did not bore anybody here with my post…
I had been refreshing Vamshi ’s memories abt the other “bloggers” ( at this point this term sounds too detached)- I was eager that he enjoy the meet as much as I was sure I would- I did not want him to feel unfamiliar at the meet-( I needn’t have worried abt that at all- everybody knew the non blogging members as well as the bloggers- and they were welcomed with warmth, there was just no question of feeling unfamiliar…)
Waking up early was always difficult, but not today- …we were supposed to reach the meetinng point atleast by 8.20 a.m- but we reached a bit late- Uncle dropped us and he wished us a happy trip- We could see the others already gathered on the other side of the road-
The b’lore air was freezing- my heart was thumping- I could identify everyone- IBL, Ananth and Asha of course, I had seen them before- but the rest were easy to place too- my hands were shivering- was it the chill weather or was it the excitement? Only Suresh, I could not place and I asked ano- and she told me-we decided that he did not in the least look like he was bottled at all-
The first few moments passed in a crazy blur as intros were made- I could not be with everybody all at once and I was trying to- lil D, ano,ano’s husband, Meena and her bubbly kids- Salonii- Asha, Nithya- Chander,sumit, suresh,ananth, and Kcu- Kcu stepped upto me and said that he was Bhattathiri- I almost fainted…and I confess I believed him- and it was only when Meenu assured me that he was joking did I recover from the shock-
And then I realized that Salonii would not be able to accompany us- it was a terrible disappointment – both for us and her- but it just could not be helped- and tho we understood her predicament- it did not deter us from recriminating her – abt her desertion- betrayal-
We were treated to some wonderful coffee by salonii- we were getting to talk to one another without the aid of db- we were chattering away, giggling, guffawing- blissfully unaware of others in the place- right then the whole world concentrated into our meet- it was just DB come alive-
After coffee, we walked up to where we were to board the van- plans were being revised..the chill air was warming up- yap yap yap we went- and then we set off for Thalakkadu after bidding goodbye to salonii- felt bad to leave her back but nothing could be done- like ananth said- this meet had come to be becos of her in the first place- we did consider kidnapping her and whisking her off with us but then thought better not complicate matters.
We settled into the van- Meenu took out delicious home made sandwiches- lil d was as excited as us- she had no qualms abt being passed around among us- and she remained playful through out…she was having a bad cold, hope the trip did not worsen it...
Chander talked more than Nithya :-)- Asha was totally silent in the beginning- (which she made up for later tho)- we suspected that she had fallen asleep- Ano’s husband told us where he used to live -and he mentioned something abt the location being very convenient :-).
Meena kept reminding us that she was silent because rides made her feel queasy – she showed us her college- Sumit was christened as Mr. Main Hoo na by Meenu’s elder daughter-
After reaching Thalakkad- we immediately set about lunch- the place was abounding with monkeys- the lunch was delicious- Vamshi kept trying to learn new words in Kannada and insisted on speaking(?) in Kannada-
After lunch, we moved on to the river banks- the weather was quite hot now- most of them went into the waters- I preferred to stay back- the children had a blast- I was entrusted with a few mobiles, cameras,purses and Kcu and me became co conspirators and we seriously considered absconding with the booty- but had to abandon the plans becos my co conspirator backed away at the last moment and anyway- Vamshi would be lost without me- so we decided against it-
Suresh, Sumit and Kcu took the kids for boating- and I do not know what happened there- my elder son said there was some interesting discussion abt snakes that he enjoyed…
Meenu, Asha, me, Nithya, Chander, Ananth, Vamshi - watched from the shores- Nithya tried to test the probability of how well her cell would function when submerged in water- did not turn out to be a very clever idea- but Chander was sure it would work once it got dried in the sun-
Ano and her DH had a tough time dragging lil D out of the waters- she wanted to go back- finally when they brought her ashore- she kept picking the sand...
After boating, we refreshed ourselves with cool drinks, tender coconut- we proceeded to the temples . The temples were submerged in sand- the sight was amazing- excavation is still going on- but by now, all were tired, we trudged wearily back to the van- it was time for the trip back…
We played anthakshari- sumit and ananth were belting out these plaintive- numbers- you know those bachelor worthy kind of songs- they even expressed dissaproval when we married veterans joined – they seemed to believe that such songs were exclusively meant for them to sing- Ananth was singing these Kannada songs- to the effect of “where is she…when will she come”- or something similar, and Sumit was crooning a few “jilted” numbers with so much of feeling-
Chander looked mighty pleased when Nithya sang "o saathi re…” Ano, Asha and Meena seemed to know every song ever composed in Hindi, Kannada- Kcu also joined in, Suresh however was distracted and seemed preoccupied with his mobile- ananth explained that he was missing his wife…Sal called in between and Asha immediately sought her advice for a song- Vamshi of course was in full form- he seemed to have forgotten that these were MY friends- he had happily adopted all of them! He had a blast pulling my legs- but I have magnanimously forgiven him for bringing me all the way for this meet- the flip side being- now I can never crib abt him here- nobody will never ever believe me again…. :-(
We got down to take a few pictures of the sunset- we played Chinese whisper…Vamshi became wicked during this time- some of us talked abt how they first heard abt the weblogs- how they started blogging/commenting- we talked abt the other bloggers- and though it was the 12 of us on this trip it was like most of our other friends too were invisibly present…
Ananth, yes, it is true we got delayed by a few hours, but I for one did not regret a wee bit the extra time that I got with you all…
We were nearing the fag end of our jouney- when Virtuality merged into Reality- and suddenly we saw a bus right in front of our van- it had a huge ad on the back- “Sulekha Classifieds” and tho it was abt the classifieds- for me it was like a special moment- because it was Sulekha after all who got me in touch with some special people…Thank you each one of you…
We said our Goodbyes-- I know I ought to feel grateful for the time I got to spend with these wonderful people who had become so special- and yet I could not help feeling gloomy at the prospect of saying Goodbye- Also, I had this feeling of having left many things unsaid…I had a whole day with them, and yet kuch kehna baaki tha-
Ano and family got down with us at the Rly station- The Day was finally over- and tho we were tired, I could not go to sleep for a long time afterwards, because my mind was awake with some great memories…
And how would this post be complete if I did not mention Vamshi for taking me for this wonderful trip- and even better for adopting my friends as his own…
And let me end here with the hope that there are many more such meets…
I hope I did not bore anybody here with my post…
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Its in the FEBRUARY air…
The past few days I’ve been a bit low-may be I could say that i've been just distracted...nothing of consequence, just this and that...u know when one feels just kind of low for no particular reason at all, one can pin blame on no one for one's sourness..and yet just feel out of sorts...just that kind of feeling.
Had been hoping to go to b’lore for that picnic meet- then the puttar’s exams threatened to loom on the horizon-...we did think abt giving it a go in spite of it...but the elder one had missed 2 exams last time becos of fever..and the school would not excuse him again...unless of course there was some real valid reason.. and I was not sure if a bloggers meet would be valid enough for them- and then mebbe we could go leaving the kids back with MIL...but then they had been so excited and eager abt this trip and when they came to know abt the exams they were really dissappointed, tho they gave us the thumbs up to go ahead with our plans...somehow, we were not quite able to do that...
And then y’day evening they came from school with the news that the sat exam has been postponed…they called their achhan immediately…and plans were rehashed- no train tickets available- so we’re going by car…do I see the sun shining again?
And today, it was like getting back on track- everywhere I see, I read blogs/articles which are helping me to shake this feeling off...and be thankful for all the good things in life- and yes, most of the effort has to be taken by me- while i knew that all the time...it was difficult all the same… sometimes even though one knows in theory what is the right attitude- one finds it so difficult to apply it…and we – atleast I do- I need that little extra nudge form outside me to be able to actually practise it…
Wanted to post comments separatelyto the February tinged blogs - but it is so tedious sometimes- so let me do it here itself:
Chander and Nithya- enjoyed reading your blogs…and wish you many, many more years of togetherness , companionship- sharing and caring…Chander, do keep blogging…
Fizzzzzzzz! Feb 6th…now, need I say I lovvvved this real life story??? May you both live Happily ever after…
Desilvvvva!
Aha! Our celebrity blogger- I always thought that it was only the female partner who languished in abject misery during the “judaai” phases…and am I glad to see an exception- thrilled to read u’r blog- and am going to make sure Vamshi does not miss this one….
And here’s hoping that you don’t have to be subjected to such separations in the future ( but ahem- meeting again after the parting is sweet )
And let me stop here saying that I love all the mushiness floating around….
Had been hoping to go to b’lore for that picnic meet- then the puttar’s exams threatened to loom on the horizon-...we did think abt giving it a go in spite of it...but the elder one had missed 2 exams last time becos of fever..and the school would not excuse him again...unless of course there was some real valid reason.. and I was not sure if a bloggers meet would be valid enough for them- and then mebbe we could go leaving the kids back with MIL...but then they had been so excited and eager abt this trip and when they came to know abt the exams they were really dissappointed, tho they gave us the thumbs up to go ahead with our plans...somehow, we were not quite able to do that...
And then y’day evening they came from school with the news that the sat exam has been postponed…they called their achhan immediately…and plans were rehashed- no train tickets available- so we’re going by car…do I see the sun shining again?
And today, it was like getting back on track- everywhere I see, I read blogs/articles which are helping me to shake this feeling off...and be thankful for all the good things in life- and yes, most of the effort has to be taken by me- while i knew that all the time...it was difficult all the same… sometimes even though one knows in theory what is the right attitude- one finds it so difficult to apply it…and we – atleast I do- I need that little extra nudge form outside me to be able to actually practise it…
Wanted to post comments separatelyto the February tinged blogs - but it is so tedious sometimes- so let me do it here itself:
Chander and Nithya- enjoyed reading your blogs…and wish you many, many more years of togetherness , companionship- sharing and caring…Chander, do keep blogging…
Fizzzzzzzz! Feb 6th…now, need I say I lovvvved this real life story??? May you both live Happily ever after…
Desilvvvva!
Aha! Our celebrity blogger- I always thought that it was only the female partner who languished in abject misery during the “judaai” phases…and am I glad to see an exception- thrilled to read u’r blog- and am going to make sure Vamshi does not miss this one….
And here’s hoping that you don’t have to be subjected to such separations in the future ( but ahem- meeting again after the parting is sweet )
And let me stop here saying that I love all the mushiness floating around….
Monday, February 07, 2005
Movie stories...
Friends, I'm posting two movie stories penned by the famous Malyalam author/script writer/ -M.T.Vasudevan Nair on my other site:
http://dabbling.blogspot.com/
I had posted these earlier at DSS..but which would have got lost in the archives by now...
Hope you find the stories interesting...the first one "Theerthadanam" is covered in just one post but the second one "Parinayam"runs into about 5 episodes...
comments welcome...
Ardra
http://dabbling.blogspot.com/
I had posted these earlier at DSS..but which would have got lost in the archives by now...
Hope you find the stories interesting...the first one "Theerthadanam" is covered in just one post but the second one "Parinayam"runs into about 5 episodes...
comments welcome...
Ardra
Friday, February 04, 2005
Today- feb 4th 2005
Now that I have run out of my old blogs – have scattered them along 3 – no 4 spots – here,
http://dabbling.blogspot.com/
http://ormakaliloode.blogspot.com/
http://kanupriyaa.blogspot.com/
the dabbling site is for my rare, once in a blue moon creative spurts experimentation…,
the ormakaliloode is traipsing down memory lane…into my childhood/college and other such memories of years ago…seems like another life.."orma” in Malayalam means memory..I had to resort to this name because memories/memoirs/memorabilia none of these were available…
and kanupriya, is of course an audacity that I’ve indulged in- trying to, nay daring to translate the beautiful poetry collection by Dr. Dharamveer Bharthi…have posted only half of it…shall post the rest soon… I really don’t know why I’m doing it..just a passion, I guess…I fell in love with the poems when I read them during my graduation…it’s a glimpse into Radha- Krishna relationship- actually much more than a peek..and from Radha’s point of view…and it may also be described as an allegory to the eternal quest of the individual soul to become one with the all pervading eternity…I have all the poems ready stashed away in my pc, but the format gets all awry when I try to post them..and then it is such a tedious task to set the line breaks right…and still sometimes I botch it up…
and then I’m thinking of posting 2 stories of mallu movies…different …still pondering as to whether to post it on another spot or here itself…I think I’ll post it here itself…let’s see..
and now coming back to having run out of ancient blogs, I’m faced with the daunting task of coming up with new ones…and I seem to have come upto a dead end- an invisible wall…I dont seem to be getting into the writing mood these days..dunno why..I too miss that outpouring which i enjoy so much...maybe, nothing touches me that deep that spurs me to pour out..why???..have I run out of thoughts…emotional paucity …nothing seems to inspire in me the urge to pour out in words…why? Or is it just that I’m so embroiled in the mundane business of daily living that I’ve lost touch with my inner self?
I finish my daily chores, visit all my favourite haunts here in the web…enjoy reading the assortment of thoughts, emotions, styles…I am in a perpetual state of amazement getting a glimpse into the pot pourri…it is such a wonderful world here in the cyberspace…its like a bouffet party…except that it is so tough to make a choice..I need every dish on my plate…and soon my blog roll is going to run into pages…and some of those pages are so beautiful…
Ahhh… I managed to squeeze out a few sentences that may be described as something at least pretending to be a blog…and on this note, I stop abruptly…
http://dabbling.blogspot.com/
http://ormakaliloode.blogspot.com/
http://kanupriyaa.blogspot.com/
the dabbling site is for my rare, once in a blue moon creative spurts experimentation…,
the ormakaliloode is traipsing down memory lane…into my childhood/college and other such memories of years ago…seems like another life.."orma” in Malayalam means memory..I had to resort to this name because memories/memoirs/memorabilia none of these were available…
and kanupriya, is of course an audacity that I’ve indulged in- trying to, nay daring to translate the beautiful poetry collection by Dr. Dharamveer Bharthi…have posted only half of it…shall post the rest soon… I really don’t know why I’m doing it..just a passion, I guess…I fell in love with the poems when I read them during my graduation…it’s a glimpse into Radha- Krishna relationship- actually much more than a peek..and from Radha’s point of view…and it may also be described as an allegory to the eternal quest of the individual soul to become one with the all pervading eternity…I have all the poems ready stashed away in my pc, but the format gets all awry when I try to post them..and then it is such a tedious task to set the line breaks right…and still sometimes I botch it up…
and then I’m thinking of posting 2 stories of mallu movies…different …still pondering as to whether to post it on another spot or here itself…I think I’ll post it here itself…let’s see..
and now coming back to having run out of ancient blogs, I’m faced with the daunting task of coming up with new ones…and I seem to have come upto a dead end- an invisible wall…I dont seem to be getting into the writing mood these days..dunno why..I too miss that outpouring which i enjoy so much...maybe, nothing touches me that deep that spurs me to pour out..why???..have I run out of thoughts…emotional paucity …nothing seems to inspire in me the urge to pour out in words…why? Or is it just that I’m so embroiled in the mundane business of daily living that I’ve lost touch with my inner self?
I finish my daily chores, visit all my favourite haunts here in the web…enjoy reading the assortment of thoughts, emotions, styles…I am in a perpetual state of amazement getting a glimpse into the pot pourri…it is such a wonderful world here in the cyberspace…its like a bouffet party…except that it is so tough to make a choice..I need every dish on my plate…and soon my blog roll is going to run into pages…and some of those pages are so beautiful…
Ahhh… I managed to squeeze out a few sentences that may be described as something at least pretending to be a blog…and on this note, I stop abruptly…
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Though I have been posting blogs earlier this year, they have all been recycled from that other place…this one would be technically a true blue 2005 blog…
The New Year crawled upon us unnoticed…our colony usually has some kind of gettogether for the New Year…this year everything was silent…Only Tsunami loomed large, like an invisible presence…Tsunami hovered behind every thought, every word, every deed… clothes, pulses and cereals were collected, sorted and dispatched…heard that at some places the clothes were rejected…and in some places the parcel were diverted to undeserving quarters???…Pictures come back in every other magazine…each vying in its stark tragic element..to the point one gets used to the gravity of the disaster…
January sped by in a cycle of flu, coughs and fevers…one after the other…and in between, Pongal came and went, a very dear friend from my youth came to visit with family…and it was like a trip back into the Past…as we talked into the night- it was like we were back in our rooms in our hostel…the laughter, the mischief…and we caught up… As she talked to me, I would gaze into her eyes- it still held the same glint…she talked the same way, her mannerisms were same…and I cant express the feeling as I tried to superimpose the present image with that of the past…it was not a search for anything…it was just a kind of reaffirming…
indeed so much has happened to each of us in our respective lives…surely we are different from what we used to be then…and ye there were these pieces of us that remained unchanged through out..and during the 2 days she was with us, we took out those unchanged pieces, brushed the dust of, and the glitter was back…and then they left…each of us back into our present..
And then in total contrast to the silent beginning, January ended in a flurry of festivities…our colony was celebrating the Radha Kalyanam. The preparations began much earlier…there had been Nagara Sangeerthanam during the entire Margazhi month- one would wake up to the strains of bhajans..it ended with the “Unjhavrutthi”..
The wedding Day was to be January 30th..there were concerts on the previous days…one day a small boy played the flute- it was enchanting…there was Sampradaya Ashtapathi Bhajan by a professional troupe…they sang mesmerisingly- The celebrations went on into the wee hours of the morning…It was a wonderful experience...the singers sang so well...there was dancing...a little boy joined in and his sense of rhythm was perfect- and the atmosphere was so thrilling, moving…and yes let me not forget to mention the prasadam was delicious…
and by 30th evening all the colony residents were bone tired..everyone had helped in some way or the other...it was a memorable experience...
The New Year crawled upon us unnoticed…our colony usually has some kind of gettogether for the New Year…this year everything was silent…Only Tsunami loomed large, like an invisible presence…Tsunami hovered behind every thought, every word, every deed… clothes, pulses and cereals were collected, sorted and dispatched…heard that at some places the clothes were rejected…and in some places the parcel were diverted to undeserving quarters???…Pictures come back in every other magazine…each vying in its stark tragic element..to the point one gets used to the gravity of the disaster…
January sped by in a cycle of flu, coughs and fevers…one after the other…and in between, Pongal came and went, a very dear friend from my youth came to visit with family…and it was like a trip back into the Past…as we talked into the night- it was like we were back in our rooms in our hostel…the laughter, the mischief…and we caught up… As she talked to me, I would gaze into her eyes- it still held the same glint…she talked the same way, her mannerisms were same…and I cant express the feeling as I tried to superimpose the present image with that of the past…it was not a search for anything…it was just a kind of reaffirming…
indeed so much has happened to each of us in our respective lives…surely we are different from what we used to be then…and ye there were these pieces of us that remained unchanged through out..and during the 2 days she was with us, we took out those unchanged pieces, brushed the dust of, and the glitter was back…and then they left…each of us back into our present..
And then in total contrast to the silent beginning, January ended in a flurry of festivities…our colony was celebrating the Radha Kalyanam. The preparations began much earlier…there had been Nagara Sangeerthanam during the entire Margazhi month- one would wake up to the strains of bhajans..it ended with the “Unjhavrutthi”..
The wedding Day was to be January 30th..there were concerts on the previous days…one day a small boy played the flute- it was enchanting…there was Sampradaya Ashtapathi Bhajan by a professional troupe…they sang mesmerisingly- The celebrations went on into the wee hours of the morning…It was a wonderful experience...the singers sang so well...there was dancing...a little boy joined in and his sense of rhythm was perfect- and the atmosphere was so thrilling, moving…and yes let me not forget to mention the prasadam was delicious…
and by 30th evening all the colony residents were bone tired..everyone had helped in some way or the other...it was a memorable experience...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
A trip to Kasargode! (oct 2004)
My Husband had a small assignment at Kasargode…and I frowned as I’m wont to whenever he informs me abt an upcoming outstation trip …he asked me if I would accompany him..a moments hesitation when I thought about the kids…V’amma (my MIL) assured me that they would be fine and the decision was made…
27 oct-my birthday- we don’t celebrate b’days as such…( never much into celebrations/ rituals/ gift exchange on occasions- we give gifts when we feel like without waiting for a reason)
…somewhere around midnite, Vamshi (Husband) woke me up to wish me…and early morning he handed me a card…it was still dark, and he switched on his cell and I read the card in the blue glow of the cell……….
I was making coffee, and my puttars come to me in the kitchen, usually I have a tough time trying to wake them up …today they’re already awake- I’m surprised- they hand over a small package- and I open it – it is a small placard telling me what a wonderful mom I’m., and a diary milk bar- my favourite!. …a couple of dear friends call to wish me…and there were wishes in my mail box too… My day has begun wonderfully
Packed the puttars off to school with numerous directions- how to help their grandmother and be good boys…a pang as I wished them goodbye…
Boarded the train in the afternoon..the climate was pleasant..the train was practically empty…spent the daytime talking, reading, eating and sleeping…and just being together…
We eached kasargode early next morning…took an auto to aunt’s place…after the first news exchange- freshened up, slept some more…
After breakfast we went site seeing- cousin had arranged a taxi, and the driver was a known person…he doubled up as our guide too…First we went to a temple Madhur- the deity was Lord Ganesha…the temple was huge and imposing- but crowded too…The sun shone mercilessly and treading the precincts barefoot was tricky…
There was this huge batch of students sitting around the temple making sketches from various angles…possibly students of architecture- seemed to have come down from the North…there was a huge tank outside the temple…the scenery was beautiful.
Next we visited the temple in Ananthapuri… On the way, the driver pointed to a lonely mansion on a hillock, built in the traditional Kerala style. He informed us that the building had been uprooted from elsewhere and reconstructed stone by stone, brick by brick onto the present location by the owner. However, seemed the mansion was inhospitable due to inexplicable reasons and was now standing a barren witness watching over the hillock.
The landscape was mesmerizing- the place was serene .The Sahyadri ranges stretched endlessly to the horizon..The solitude was soothing…there were rocky terrains on one side..and a vast expanse of tall grass of variant shades of green- and as the blades swayed in the breeze- the undulations were such that it seemed like waves lashing in a verdant sea…
The temple was built in the center of a square lake…the idol was under renovation and was not made of any metal or stone but of specially medicated and consecrated herbs…”katusharkara yogam”
The place was so beautiful and serene…we sipped fresh lime juice sitting on the platform encircling a huge banyan tree…
It was noon by now and we returned to Aunt’s place, had a sumptuous lunch and chatted with our cousins…
Evening came and we left for Bekal fort…a site captured on celluloid several times…most memorable perhaps in Manirathnam’s “Bombay”- who would forget Manisha Koirala running as Arvind Swamy crooned “Uyire/ tu hi re”…I’ve heard that the screen shook and shuddered in synchronized harmony with Manisha…and the watching Nation heaved…all hearsay…I cannot comment because the small screen does not do justice to the picturisation, I understand…
We climbed the slope up the fort, the view was spectacular from the top…there were these small gaps in the walls which was left open and one could look aross the horizon…Along the path to the beach were this little peepholes on the fort walls which were dug out ina kind of downward angle, and one could see the waves lashing onto the rocky shores and bursting into foamy smithereens… the sea looked unruly that evening and the security weer closing access by 6.30 pm…the sun was going down into the sea…and while everybody was ecstatic about it, I remained untouched…the sea always depressed me- I prefer watching the sun sink into the greens…or cliffs..
Here again there were the students…talked to some of them- they were from Sophia College- Mumbai…their exuberant youth and cheer took me back to my college memories…
After a take home dinner of biriyani, porottas ( different from North Indian Paranthas) .. waving goodbyes to aunt and cousins, we boarded the train that nite…the train was yet again empty…we slept off soon enough…reached home next afternoon- the train journey was as enjoyable as the rest of the trip, and both of us were refreshed after the small break from routine…
Puttars were also refreshed after the tiny time off from Momma Hitler, and had a nice time with V’amma…
After lunch, tried to log in but the cable was down…after a few impatient hours was able to log in, and what do I see? B’day wishes in a blog and loads of wishes…and some more mails…ha…this b’day was beautiful…
I'm grateful...
27 oct-my birthday- we don’t celebrate b’days as such…( never much into celebrations/ rituals/ gift exchange on occasions- we give gifts when we feel like without waiting for a reason)
…somewhere around midnite, Vamshi (Husband) woke me up to wish me…and early morning he handed me a card…it was still dark, and he switched on his cell and I read the card in the blue glow of the cell……….
I was making coffee, and my puttars come to me in the kitchen, usually I have a tough time trying to wake them up …today they’re already awake- I’m surprised- they hand over a small package- and I open it – it is a small placard telling me what a wonderful mom I’m., and a diary milk bar- my favourite!. …a couple of dear friends call to wish me…and there were wishes in my mail box too… My day has begun wonderfully
Packed the puttars off to school with numerous directions- how to help their grandmother and be good boys…a pang as I wished them goodbye…
Boarded the train in the afternoon..the climate was pleasant..the train was practically empty…spent the daytime talking, reading, eating and sleeping…and just being together…
We eached kasargode early next morning…took an auto to aunt’s place…after the first news exchange- freshened up, slept some more…
After breakfast we went site seeing- cousin had arranged a taxi, and the driver was a known person…he doubled up as our guide too…First we went to a temple Madhur- the deity was Lord Ganesha…the temple was huge and imposing- but crowded too…The sun shone mercilessly and treading the precincts barefoot was tricky…
There was this huge batch of students sitting around the temple making sketches from various angles…possibly students of architecture- seemed to have come down from the North…there was a huge tank outside the temple…the scenery was beautiful.
Next we visited the temple in Ananthapuri… On the way, the driver pointed to a lonely mansion on a hillock, built in the traditional Kerala style. He informed us that the building had been uprooted from elsewhere and reconstructed stone by stone, brick by brick onto the present location by the owner. However, seemed the mansion was inhospitable due to inexplicable reasons and was now standing a barren witness watching over the hillock.
The landscape was mesmerizing- the place was serene .The Sahyadri ranges stretched endlessly to the horizon..The solitude was soothing…there were rocky terrains on one side..and a vast expanse of tall grass of variant shades of green- and as the blades swayed in the breeze- the undulations were such that it seemed like waves lashing in a verdant sea…
The temple was built in the center of a square lake…the idol was under renovation and was not made of any metal or stone but of specially medicated and consecrated herbs…”katusharkara yogam”
The place was so beautiful and serene…we sipped fresh lime juice sitting on the platform encircling a huge banyan tree…
It was noon by now and we returned to Aunt’s place, had a sumptuous lunch and chatted with our cousins…
Evening came and we left for Bekal fort…a site captured on celluloid several times…most memorable perhaps in Manirathnam’s “Bombay”- who would forget Manisha Koirala running as Arvind Swamy crooned “Uyire/ tu hi re”…I’ve heard that the screen shook and shuddered in synchronized harmony with Manisha…and the watching Nation heaved…all hearsay…I cannot comment because the small screen does not do justice to the picturisation, I understand…
We climbed the slope up the fort, the view was spectacular from the top…there were these small gaps in the walls which was left open and one could look aross the horizon…Along the path to the beach were this little peepholes on the fort walls which were dug out ina kind of downward angle, and one could see the waves lashing onto the rocky shores and bursting into foamy smithereens… the sea looked unruly that evening and the security weer closing access by 6.30 pm…the sun was going down into the sea…and while everybody was ecstatic about it, I remained untouched…the sea always depressed me- I prefer watching the sun sink into the greens…or cliffs..
Here again there were the students…talked to some of them- they were from Sophia College- Mumbai…their exuberant youth and cheer took me back to my college memories…
After a take home dinner of biriyani, porottas ( different from North Indian Paranthas) .. waving goodbyes to aunt and cousins, we boarded the train that nite…the train was yet again empty…we slept off soon enough…reached home next afternoon- the train journey was as enjoyable as the rest of the trip, and both of us were refreshed after the small break from routine…
Puttars were also refreshed after the tiny time off from Momma Hitler, and had a nice time with V’amma…
After lunch, tried to log in but the cable was down…after a few impatient hours was able to log in, and what do I see? B’day wishes in a blog and loads of wishes…and some more mails…ha…this b’day was beautiful…
I'm grateful...
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Deliverance-
Sleep ,endless sleep, from which one never has to wake up ,why do you elude me thus?Fear grips my soul I am afraid of what? Of myself? Of this world? Of everything?The face in the mirror is that of a stranger. The eyes are vacant, listless. I feel exhausted my eyelids, they droop, oh! Where can I rest? Where can I put down this heavy burden that I am carrying? But no, my destination is still very far off and I am in the middle of Nowhere.Vast stretches of sand ,only sand all around me, no tracks, no route, only sand in front, behind and on all sides ,time is too little, and I am all alone, - that hairline difference between solitude and loneliness-a void, which nobody or anything could ever occupy. Oh! This oppressing solitude!My co-travellers have gone far ahead ,leaving me lagging painfully. But I have no regrets. I do not grudge them their victory. I feel no envy, no jealousy. I have never been interested in running the race. Fighting has never been my forte. Perhaps I am a defeatist. But I cannot be concerned .Apathy. is my second name. If only I could simply disappear, dissolve into The Void -if only everything would end in a moment, like a bubble burst.But this loneliness oppresses me. The pungent smell of solitude torments my soul. Finally, I resolve to take a step forward ,but wait what is this? My feet refuse to move, are they made of lead?? Standing I remain, neither do I falter nor do I fall, firm as a fixture- my vacant gaze on the fast disappearing forms of my co-travellers. I look on helplessly ,waiting for The Moment of Deliverance!
(the above lines, I jotted many, many years ago in my diary...)
(the above lines, I jotted many, many years ago in my diary...)
Never say Goodbye-Missing you so
Goodbye is such a sad word. It seems too final, too cold, for friends to use. We seem to have so many ways of saying Goodbye and they all have one thing in common-Sadness. Dont ever say Goodbye. Dont ever give in to the sadness and loneliness of that word. Remember instead the joy and the happiness of those times when you first said Hallo to a friend. Take that special hallo and lock it away within you, in that place in your heart where it is always summer time. When you and your friends must part, I want you to reach deep within you and bring back that special Hallo.
Author- anonymous.
Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it thru. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he doesnt fill it, but on the contrary, he keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with eachother , even at the cost of pain.
Theologian Dietrich Bon Hoeffer-(1906-1945)- in letters and papers from prison.
Author- anonymous.
Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it thru. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he doesnt fill it, but on the contrary, he keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with eachother , even at the cost of pain.
Theologian Dietrich Bon Hoeffer-(1906-1945)- in letters and papers from prison.
Stolen Moments
It is early dusk. The horizon is darkening. Clouds are moving slowly across the skies. A gentle breeze caresses my cheeks. Hope it rains today, but after my husband reaches home. He has not taken his raincoat, u see.
I like looking out from the balcony of our flat. It faces a broad guage railway line, so every now and then a train rumbles by. In the beginning, as soon as we shifted to this flat, my kids and myself would rush to the balcony to watch the train passing. My kids wave to the passengers, and sometimes they wave back. Now of course, its been 5 years, and Im so used to it, that sometimes, I hardly notice the trains.
The other day, as I stood watching in my balcony, I heard a commotion from the tracks. A woman was crying and running along the tracks. A girl of abt 12-13 years was running after the woman, crying and talking at the same time. Another man was also following, seemingly trying to pacify the woman. What I gathered was, the woman , after some domestic tiff perhaps, had crossed her point of tolerance, and had taken the drastic decision to end her life. The girl- obviously her daughter - was alarmed, and was trying to persuade her mother to revoke her decision, while the man-her husband was also trying to make amends!
They ran along the tracks, and I stood watching them, with mixed feelings. I felt so helpless. I could hear a train rumbling in the distance. I was worried, the desperate family was now out of sight and I hoped that the woman had changed her decision. The train soon rumbled past, and I never got to hear of any untoward incident. I was relieved.
Some weeks ago, it was around 10.30- 11 pm . It was raining rather heavily, and the kids had already gone to bed. My husband and me stood in the balcony sipping hot black coffee. We were just enjoying the coolness of the air, and the sting of the hot coffee in our throats. It had been rather sultry the past few weeks and the rains were welcome. The fragrance of the wet earth was refreshing. Suddenly my husband gestured to me to look down. (We are on the first floor). Curious, I looked to where he pointed, and what I saw remains etched in my mind. Our neighbour downstairs- a woman in her early thirties, rather plump, first cautiously looked around the colony to see if anybody was watching ( she did not think of looking up) and then reassured that nobody was watching, stretched her arms on either sides and just went round dancing in circles, enjoying the rain lashing down on her. Her daughter was running behind her holding out an umbrella. This lady, who was otherwise a rather solemn, silent kind of person, here was an unexpected, amazing facet to her persona. We were enchanted by the sight, and we have never let her know that we had witnessed her stolen moments of joy and exuberance.
I like looking out from the balcony of our flat. It faces a broad guage railway line, so every now and then a train rumbles by. In the beginning, as soon as we shifted to this flat, my kids and myself would rush to the balcony to watch the train passing. My kids wave to the passengers, and sometimes they wave back. Now of course, its been 5 years, and Im so used to it, that sometimes, I hardly notice the trains.
The other day, as I stood watching in my balcony, I heard a commotion from the tracks. A woman was crying and running along the tracks. A girl of abt 12-13 years was running after the woman, crying and talking at the same time. Another man was also following, seemingly trying to pacify the woman. What I gathered was, the woman , after some domestic tiff perhaps, had crossed her point of tolerance, and had taken the drastic decision to end her life. The girl- obviously her daughter - was alarmed, and was trying to persuade her mother to revoke her decision, while the man-her husband was also trying to make amends!
They ran along the tracks, and I stood watching them, with mixed feelings. I felt so helpless. I could hear a train rumbling in the distance. I was worried, the desperate family was now out of sight and I hoped that the woman had changed her decision. The train soon rumbled past, and I never got to hear of any untoward incident. I was relieved.
Some weeks ago, it was around 10.30- 11 pm . It was raining rather heavily, and the kids had already gone to bed. My husband and me stood in the balcony sipping hot black coffee. We were just enjoying the coolness of the air, and the sting of the hot coffee in our throats. It had been rather sultry the past few weeks and the rains were welcome. The fragrance of the wet earth was refreshing. Suddenly my husband gestured to me to look down. (We are on the first floor). Curious, I looked to where he pointed, and what I saw remains etched in my mind. Our neighbour downstairs- a woman in her early thirties, rather plump, first cautiously looked around the colony to see if anybody was watching ( she did not think of looking up) and then reassured that nobody was watching, stretched her arms on either sides and just went round dancing in circles, enjoying the rain lashing down on her. Her daughter was running behind her holding out an umbrella. This lady, who was otherwise a rather solemn, silent kind of person, here was an unexpected, amazing facet to her persona. We were enchanted by the sight, and we have never let her know that we had witnessed her stolen moments of joy and exuberance.
Life- Beyond reasoning and Logic
Below is a quote that I picked up from somewhere-
The ability to think and to reason is a gift that truly is priceless and can bring untold value to those who make use of it. There is far more to life than just reason.
Love is often altogether without reason. Life would be empty without love. Beauty exists apart from reason. One cannot live with reason alone. Greatest accomplishments flow from the mind and from the heart. Real, profound fulfillment encompasses not only mind and body, but soul and spirit also.
Reason can bring us great and powerful understanding and that includes the understanding that some of the most wonderful things in life , though they can indeed be known cannot be understood.
Ralph Marston.
Dewdrop:
Yet another quote that I picked up from somewhere- I think , I read it in Malayalam and then translated it.
The Dewdrop- reclining on the delicate petal, yet it yearns to return to the skies- the place from whence it had come- the beauty around attracts it not- it reflects the million colors in the sun- the reflection of the firmament!The limits of its beloved Eternity- how it glistens! Tears of remorse? Finally, the Sun overcome by pity, transforms the forlorn dewdrop into vapor by its heat and the dewdrop returns to its place of birth.
The ability to think and to reason is a gift that truly is priceless and can bring untold value to those who make use of it. There is far more to life than just reason.
Love is often altogether without reason. Life would be empty without love. Beauty exists apart from reason. One cannot live with reason alone. Greatest accomplishments flow from the mind and from the heart. Real, profound fulfillment encompasses not only mind and body, but soul and spirit also.
Reason can bring us great and powerful understanding and that includes the understanding that some of the most wonderful things in life , though they can indeed be known cannot be understood.
Ralph Marston.
Dewdrop:
Yet another quote that I picked up from somewhere- I think , I read it in Malayalam and then translated it.
The Dewdrop- reclining on the delicate petal, yet it yearns to return to the skies- the place from whence it had come- the beauty around attracts it not- it reflects the million colors in the sun- the reflection of the firmament!The limits of its beloved Eternity- how it glistens! Tears of remorse? Finally, the Sun overcome by pity, transforms the forlorn dewdrop into vapor by its heat and the dewdrop returns to its place of birth.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Vanishing from Virtuality?
A few times, I have been tempted to just go into hiding- just disappear completely from the virtual world…hide somewhere…but where do I hide from virtuality…wanted to disappear totally from everybody’s radar…to go back to being a nobody…to wipe out Ardra Vamshi…but somehow, I crouch back…still unsure…
Am still reading Fulghum. Second time round…interesting to note how words assume different meanings according to one’s attitudes, experiences- when I read it the first time- I understood it differently and this time, every sentence assumes a different hue and flavour.
Fulghum tells us about his thoughts as he gazes at his sleeping granddaughter- like how actually she belongs to neither her parents or her grandparents fully- that she actually belongs only to herself- how there would always be that “untraversable distance” between them – how to love something and to possess it are not the same thing…
And from then on my thoughts wandered…that is the nice thing about this book- since its not a continous story as such…one can just wander off on a tangent and then come back to it without a hitch… actually, it is like blogs by themselves- just random scribblings…thoughts that occur to Fulghum in his daily encounters, reflections…and so one is permitted to wander, I guess..that’s the way the book flows…
So, now getting on to my trail of thoughts- I was thinking how everything changes ( no please, am not talking abt the change in the site interface…), perhaps we could choose to use the word “evolve” to imply that changes are progressive, positive in nature..but is it always so?
The path of a change follows a curve- a starting point, then perhaps a gradual climb…then reaches the highest point…and then? Does the path remain in that level indefinitely- does it travel along a straight line from there? And would that imply stagnation? Or then does it slowly, imperceptibly trace a downward path? Is that fall inevitable? Perhaps the only difference being in different cases, as to how long it remained at the top before beginning its downward path? What are the factors that govern this path? And is the fall faster in the virtual arena? Is it a more transient situation? The initial excitement and euphoria- does it ebb away too soon? And yet aren’t the stakes involved as real as in the real world? Does decline always bring disappointment and disillusionment in its wake?
Questions remain unasked and therefore unanswered…if I’m being vague here…well then may be its just because there is always an “untraversable distance”-
Equanimity either way- is the solution- whether the curve rises or falls- would be the solution- an attitude of “so far so good”, “as good as it lasts”…fine if it does, fine if it doesn’t- aha, but who sets the rules?
“I told you so”, “Nothing lasts”, “was bound to happen sooner or later”, “too good to last”, - the words resound, echo…I clap my palms over my ears, but the voices still remain loud and clear- because the voice was from within, not without…
I return to Reality…burdened with yet another lesson in Life- take it as it comes, Keep smiling…
(By watching, I know that the stars are not going to last. I have seen some of the best ones melt and run down the sky. Since one can melt, they can all melt, since they can all melt, they can all melt the same night..that sorrow will come, and I know it…
-from the “complete stories of Mark Twain”- by Charles Neider)
Am still reading Fulghum. Second time round…interesting to note how words assume different meanings according to one’s attitudes, experiences- when I read it the first time- I understood it differently and this time, every sentence assumes a different hue and flavour.
Fulghum tells us about his thoughts as he gazes at his sleeping granddaughter- like how actually she belongs to neither her parents or her grandparents fully- that she actually belongs only to herself- how there would always be that “untraversable distance” between them – how to love something and to possess it are not the same thing…
And from then on my thoughts wandered…that is the nice thing about this book- since its not a continous story as such…one can just wander off on a tangent and then come back to it without a hitch… actually, it is like blogs by themselves- just random scribblings…thoughts that occur to Fulghum in his daily encounters, reflections…and so one is permitted to wander, I guess..that’s the way the book flows…
So, now getting on to my trail of thoughts- I was thinking how everything changes ( no please, am not talking abt the change in the site interface…), perhaps we could choose to use the word “evolve” to imply that changes are progressive, positive in nature..but is it always so?
The path of a change follows a curve- a starting point, then perhaps a gradual climb…then reaches the highest point…and then? Does the path remain in that level indefinitely- does it travel along a straight line from there? And would that imply stagnation? Or then does it slowly, imperceptibly trace a downward path? Is that fall inevitable? Perhaps the only difference being in different cases, as to how long it remained at the top before beginning its downward path? What are the factors that govern this path? And is the fall faster in the virtual arena? Is it a more transient situation? The initial excitement and euphoria- does it ebb away too soon? And yet aren’t the stakes involved as real as in the real world? Does decline always bring disappointment and disillusionment in its wake?
Questions remain unasked and therefore unanswered…if I’m being vague here…well then may be its just because there is always an “untraversable distance”-
Equanimity either way- is the solution- whether the curve rises or falls- would be the solution- an attitude of “so far so good”, “as good as it lasts”…fine if it does, fine if it doesn’t- aha, but who sets the rules?
“I told you so”, “Nothing lasts”, “was bound to happen sooner or later”, “too good to last”, - the words resound, echo…I clap my palms over my ears, but the voices still remain loud and clear- because the voice was from within, not without…
I return to Reality…burdened with yet another lesson in Life- take it as it comes, Keep smiling…
(By watching, I know that the stars are not going to last. I have seen some of the best ones melt and run down the sky. Since one can melt, they can all melt, since they can all melt, they can all melt the same night..that sorrow will come, and I know it…
-from the “complete stories of Mark Twain”- by Charles Neider)
Elegy to a friendship
there was a friend…
there was/is a friendship…
the friendship was born ,
nurtured with care and fun…
slowly, steadily with time…
thoughts aligned, emotions aligned
ideas shared, memories shared
solace, warmth reigned…
and such was the cocoon of friendship
comfy and secure
ideal, innocent and true…
Alas! Nemesis fell!
A crack appeared!
A fateful moment
The die was cast
one fateful day
pain shared, venom spilt
image shattered
weakness exposed
the harm was done
the wedge was invisible
the break was slow
at first escaped notice
then the doubts peeped
surely,something was amiss?
By the time it dawned
It was too late
The crack was deep…
no questions asked
no answers offered
what was there
just no longer is…
today what remains
is a pale shadow..
no anger, no bitterness
but no warmth either…
just an ache, a hollow
for what had been
but there is no going back
the crack is there
the jagged edge tears
the pain is silent
the scar shows…
but then there are memories…
kind and warm…
there was/is a friendship…
the friendship was born ,
nurtured with care and fun…
slowly, steadily with time…
thoughts aligned, emotions aligned
ideas shared, memories shared
solace, warmth reigned…
and such was the cocoon of friendship
comfy and secure
ideal, innocent and true…
Alas! Nemesis fell!
A crack appeared!
A fateful moment
The die was cast
one fateful day
pain shared, venom spilt
image shattered
weakness exposed
the harm was done
the wedge was invisible
the break was slow
at first escaped notice
then the doubts peeped
surely,something was amiss?
By the time it dawned
It was too late
The crack was deep…
no questions asked
no answers offered
what was there
just no longer is…
today what remains
is a pale shadow..
no anger, no bitterness
but no warmth either…
just an ache, a hollow
for what had been
but there is no going back
the crack is there
the jagged edge tears
the pain is silent
the scar shows…
but then there are memories…
kind and warm…
It rained that night...
That evening..., Mr.Vamshi and myself went out for a bit of grocery shopping leaving the puttars at home..we went by bike..at the last moment I wondered if it would rain..and decided it was unlikely- and anyway we would be back soon, I reasoned.
We picked the groceries from the supermarket - sweets for the younger puttar- to take to school- (its his star b’day today)… and then loitered around picking this and that ..we ran into two “gang mates” of Mr Vamshi- (members of his “sabha” post- dinner buckwaas session at our colony park every evening)- and just as we were to step out- it began raining real heavily…
My first thought was about the puttars at home…I asked for a polythene bag ( yup, am guilty of harming the eco system now and then) , to use as a cap for Vamshi- he had just recovered from cold and flu- and was still coughing..I had my faithful duppatta…we ran into the little cofeeday shop opposite the supermarket- to get coffee powder.our friends were also with us…the rains increased in fury and I kept thinking of how Ivan would have been- here, I was shivering with just a nasty regional shower…suddenly a real loud thunder rumbled and lightning flashed- the power would go any moment now- was thinking of my puttars..when Mr.Vamshis’s cell rang- it was the elder puttar- asking us to stay put in the shop and not venture in the rains, and return only when the rains decreased..that we need not worry abt them..he said they had the torches handy, and anyway the emergency lamp had just been repaired that afternoon…I was relieved for a while….was reminded that I had to yet cook dinner, was planning something elaborate, but now looked like I would have to concoct something from the left over rice and palak curry…mentally configured a presto recipe…
Mr. Vamshi was enjoying casual banter with his friends, and I was fidgety- there were these electric wires snaking the wall just behind me- and I imagined a short circuit going up in flare any moment- I cringed…the roads were already flooding- the barrier between the gutters and road had ceased to be and now was flowing as one…the waters were fast climbing the steps of the little coffee shop..the power went as expected..I wanted to go home to my kids…
The road was dark, only the supermarket in front had the generator switched on …people were still on the streets- with and without umbrellas, one lady was fishing with her hand into the muddy water for her missing slipper, I eagerly watched with relief as she came up triumphantly with the errant footwear …and to add to the brouhaha there were these trolley cart like vehicles carrying Ganesha idols- and hordes of men and kids pushing the vehicle- lit up by petro maxes- one even had a genrator tugging behind… they were singing aloud…fully soaked to the skin, their fervour making them impervious to the showers…
After a small discussion, Mr.Vamshi and friends decided to call another “gang mate” from our colony and request him to fetch us in a car…and amazingly, this other friend (God bless him) had been expecting us to call any time because he had seen us leaving without any rain gear…,- by now the waters were knee high (er…my knees- but probably calf- deep for the not so pocket sized homo sapiens)…meanwhile Mr. Vamshi went into the supermarket and requested permission to leaveing the bike behind in the parking space- ( we knew them well) and handed the keys over. The shop owner asked us not to worry aand even offered that once the rains stopped, one of his boys would drop the bike back to our colony…and he need not take the trouble to come back later for the bike… soon, this friend arrived in the car and all of us plodded in the dirty slush, got into the warmth of the car, and sped away to our warm homes…the power returned just as the car arrived…
On the way to our colony, there is this strip of no man’s land ( or mebbe, it belongs to the Municipality) where there is this long row of slums…construction labourers live there, and I just thought of those people huddled up in their dwellings- wet and dark..with frogs and reptiles and arachnids plodding around…I shuddered in the warmth of the car…
And thus we reached home, and I find my puttars happily playing chess oblivious to everything…
It was still raining cats and dogs outside…and I was glad I was not near Ivan… we changed..and then set about rustling up dinner- it was “palak rice” with different fry- ums (vadaams), and curd chillies…
Later, when the fury of the rains had abated, two boys from the supermarket delivered the bike safely and handed over the keys…
We picked the groceries from the supermarket - sweets for the younger puttar- to take to school- (its his star b’day today)… and then loitered around picking this and that ..we ran into two “gang mates” of Mr Vamshi- (members of his “sabha” post- dinner buckwaas session at our colony park every evening)- and just as we were to step out- it began raining real heavily…
My first thought was about the puttars at home…I asked for a polythene bag ( yup, am guilty of harming the eco system now and then) , to use as a cap for Vamshi- he had just recovered from cold and flu- and was still coughing..I had my faithful duppatta…we ran into the little cofeeday shop opposite the supermarket- to get coffee powder.our friends were also with us…the rains increased in fury and I kept thinking of how Ivan would have been- here, I was shivering with just a nasty regional shower…suddenly a real loud thunder rumbled and lightning flashed- the power would go any moment now- was thinking of my puttars..when Mr.Vamshis’s cell rang- it was the elder puttar- asking us to stay put in the shop and not venture in the rains, and return only when the rains decreased..that we need not worry abt them..he said they had the torches handy, and anyway the emergency lamp had just been repaired that afternoon…I was relieved for a while….was reminded that I had to yet cook dinner, was planning something elaborate, but now looked like I would have to concoct something from the left over rice and palak curry…mentally configured a presto recipe…
Mr. Vamshi was enjoying casual banter with his friends, and I was fidgety- there were these electric wires snaking the wall just behind me- and I imagined a short circuit going up in flare any moment- I cringed…the roads were already flooding- the barrier between the gutters and road had ceased to be and now was flowing as one…the waters were fast climbing the steps of the little coffee shop..the power went as expected..I wanted to go home to my kids…
The road was dark, only the supermarket in front had the generator switched on …people were still on the streets- with and without umbrellas, one lady was fishing with her hand into the muddy water for her missing slipper, I eagerly watched with relief as she came up triumphantly with the errant footwear …and to add to the brouhaha there were these trolley cart like vehicles carrying Ganesha idols- and hordes of men and kids pushing the vehicle- lit up by petro maxes- one even had a genrator tugging behind… they were singing aloud…fully soaked to the skin, their fervour making them impervious to the showers…
After a small discussion, Mr.Vamshi and friends decided to call another “gang mate” from our colony and request him to fetch us in a car…and amazingly, this other friend (God bless him) had been expecting us to call any time because he had seen us leaving without any rain gear…,- by now the waters were knee high (er…my knees- but probably calf- deep for the not so pocket sized homo sapiens)…meanwhile Mr. Vamshi went into the supermarket and requested permission to leaveing the bike behind in the parking space- ( we knew them well) and handed the keys over. The shop owner asked us not to worry aand even offered that once the rains stopped, one of his boys would drop the bike back to our colony…and he need not take the trouble to come back later for the bike… soon, this friend arrived in the car and all of us plodded in the dirty slush, got into the warmth of the car, and sped away to our warm homes…the power returned just as the car arrived…
On the way to our colony, there is this strip of no man’s land ( or mebbe, it belongs to the Municipality) where there is this long row of slums…construction labourers live there, and I just thought of those people huddled up in their dwellings- wet and dark..with frogs and reptiles and arachnids plodding around…I shuddered in the warmth of the car…
And thus we reached home, and I find my puttars happily playing chess oblivious to everything…
It was still raining cats and dogs outside…and I was glad I was not near Ivan… we changed..and then set about rustling up dinner- it was “palak rice” with different fry- ums (vadaams), and curd chillies…
Later, when the fury of the rains had abated, two boys from the supermarket delivered the bike safely and handed over the keys…
Guffaws!
While in school, we had this music group, and one of the songs we were rehearsing to sing for the FM radio in Dubai was the old-“jaago mohan pyaare” from the movie “Jaagte Raho”- well after the first and the 2nd stanzas each there was a small humming bit, but after the 3rd stanza the humming was replaced by the flute…so whenever we reached the bit after the 3rd stanza, our sir- Mr. Sen would mouth soundlessly-indicating to us that we had to keep mum- and invariably every time this bit came one of us would erupt into giggles morphing into guffaws. The Sir was quite nervous whether we would repeat our guffaw bit instead of the flute at the recording studio( it was a live program) , but we barely managed to scrape through without calamity! We had resolved not to look at one another during the recording…but the guffaws did come- after the microphones were removed!
And while in college, I used to entertain my classmates with imitations of yesteryear actresses in Malayalam- - and I was called “Malayalam drama company” fondly by my admiring classmates - Had no further acting experience that is if you left out the daily incidents of feigning illness, innocence- as the requirement may be- to your hostel warden( when one skipped the boring assembly) .
Well, back to the story- yeah, so one of my fans-oops- classmate was chosen to play the role of “KaRuthhamma” from “Chemmeen” - by late Thakazhi- in a 5 minute extract for the College function to be attended by the author himself- and guess what she did- seems they were looking out for “KaRthyaayani” from the book “eNnippadikaL”( meaning –stairs”) – again written by the same author. And my friendly classmate suggested MY name!! I was aghast but could not back out- Its another story that I went along to enjoy the experience and discovered that I loved to act on stage- still grateful to that friend who was responsible for this episode in my life!
Yes, so in this enactment of the story- KaRthyaayani had to say to her husband-
“NammaLude moLude thalakkuRi pannikkar thaNNittundu”
( the astrologer has given the horoscope of our daughter)
and during the rehearsals- I slipped on the “thalakkuRi” bit and said “bhagyakkuRi” which meant Lottery ticket!
And yes- the inevitable followed- everytime this dialogue was around the corner, my “husband” ( another girl) and me would explode into not gentle giggles but explosive guffaws- but thankfully on the Dday- we were too nervous to laugh and everything went smoothly without a hitch- or the great author would have had a heart attack!
Acted in a couple of dramas more during my college life- one role was that of a “ghost” speaking to her mother after her suicide-the character I essayed had become a drug addict because of gross neglect by her too busy parents. I had to leave my hair loose and wear white sari- and I still r’member one Miss taunting me- Ardra- you don’t have to wear make up for this role eh? – alluding to my Dracula tooth…grrrr…but then Moushmi Chatterjee, Shashi Kapoor all look so good with that tooth! Yeah, so you know what I’m trying to say…
My glorious career as an actress came to an end when they asked me to scream, moan and groan for a radio drama- the character was supposed to be in labour! Needless to say, I backed out…did not want to risk erupting into explosive Guffaws…
And while in college, I used to entertain my classmates with imitations of yesteryear actresses in Malayalam- - and I was called “Malayalam drama company” fondly by my admiring classmates - Had no further acting experience that is if you left out the daily incidents of feigning illness, innocence- as the requirement may be- to your hostel warden( when one skipped the boring assembly) .
Well, back to the story- yeah, so one of my fans-oops- classmate was chosen to play the role of “KaRuthhamma” from “Chemmeen” - by late Thakazhi- in a 5 minute extract for the College function to be attended by the author himself- and guess what she did- seems they were looking out for “KaRthyaayani” from the book “eNnippadikaL”( meaning –stairs”) – again written by the same author. And my friendly classmate suggested MY name!! I was aghast but could not back out- Its another story that I went along to enjoy the experience and discovered that I loved to act on stage- still grateful to that friend who was responsible for this episode in my life!
Yes, so in this enactment of the story- KaRthyaayani had to say to her husband-
“NammaLude moLude thalakkuRi pannikkar thaNNittundu”
( the astrologer has given the horoscope of our daughter)
and during the rehearsals- I slipped on the “thalakkuRi” bit and said “bhagyakkuRi” which meant Lottery ticket!
And yes- the inevitable followed- everytime this dialogue was around the corner, my “husband” ( another girl) and me would explode into not gentle giggles but explosive guffaws- but thankfully on the Dday- we were too nervous to laugh and everything went smoothly without a hitch- or the great author would have had a heart attack!
Acted in a couple of dramas more during my college life- one role was that of a “ghost” speaking to her mother after her suicide-the character I essayed had become a drug addict because of gross neglect by her too busy parents. I had to leave my hair loose and wear white sari- and I still r’member one Miss taunting me- Ardra- you don’t have to wear make up for this role eh? – alluding to my Dracula tooth…grrrr…but then Moushmi Chatterjee, Shashi Kapoor all look so good with that tooth! Yeah, so you know what I’m trying to say…
My glorious career as an actress came to an end when they asked me to scream, moan and groan for a radio drama- the character was supposed to be in labour! Needless to say, I backed out…did not want to risk erupting into explosive Guffaws…
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