Just like that...

I have been wondering why I have not been able to write anything of late…I guess it happens sometimes to everybody- one just loses interest in everything…writing seems boring - and in some of the other blogspots, I notice people sometimes record each day as it passes by…and I wondered how it would be if I did something like that?

In that case, my blogs would technically be almost the same everyday- I guess, but if I were to jot down the thoughts, the feelings of each day- then may be it would be different- and I am sure that some of the thoughts would be very, very detrimental to Ardra’s image here! :- )
Ah- ha- I’ve become a victim of being stuck in an image…y’day, as I was rambling away in a mail to one of my friends here on DSS…I just went on writing some incoherent rubbish- but upon a closer look, decided it was a bit blog- material! Eureeks! ( a mix of eureka and eeks!- in case u’re wondering)

So here you are, and don’t blame me if u feel I’m ranting…like I read on some other blog- its my blog, and I chose to rant here for now! :- )

Time and again, we feel bound to stick to definitions of ourselves sometimes given to us by others or sometimes as we perceive ourselves...and that somehow curbs our spontaneous responses, gestures, actions...sometimes these boxes are deliberately created by us and sometimes they evolve on their own without us being aware of it...people around us form their own perceptions of us coloured by their own experiences and attitudes...and when they respond to us accordingly, we unconsciously react according to these perceptions...thus fulfilling their perceptions of us...and at times when we deviate from these perceptions...they're confused...while actually we're not just what they thought we were…

Ardra- when she started blogging was a different person- then the other bloggers began responding in a particular way, and Ardra was evolving accordingly- and tho Ardra is definitely a part of N- but only in parts...and when sometimes more of N emerges thru Ardra, I wonder if the other bloggers are finding discrepancies between Ardra and N...mebbe some prefer Ardra to N!

From my interactions with some bloggers on a personal level, I realise that the Ardra they expected was different from the N they met...I have no idea what their reaction is ...but some of the responses have definitely undergone some kind of change- for the better or worse, I'm not really sure... some seemed to be more comfortable with the A they knew only thru blogs- the earlier ones...and as more of N spilled thru- in the blogs/mails , responses kept changing...but yet there are those who prefer N- and then there are those whose responses remain the same- both to Ardra and N- did not matter...but yes, the image cultivation was never deliberate, it just happened – my blogs have always been spontaneous, but I have chosen to explore only certain aspects on my blogs- not because I want to keep some aspects hidden but only because I’m more comfortable this way…

And now I don’t know if all this is just in my imagination…actually, nothing of this matters even…but I so desperately wanted to post a blog…

ahh..now that this rant looks to be sufficiently lengthy to qualify as a blog- hopefully- let me stop…

{Thank you friend, the unsuspecting one who has been subjected to this rant twice over- in my mail, and now in this blog…of course assuming that he/she is reading this ;-) }