It is so evident- that sense of relief that they don’t have to bear with this kind of behaviour for too long- that they were glad that they had a place to run off to- to escape- to get away- a place that was so much more better. A life that was so much more alluring, so much more empowering . How did she feel about it- she tried to make some sense of her thoughts .
She had no such place to get away to- no place to return to- for this life was what she had to experience- there was no running away. This was the yarn that the tapestry of her life was made of. While she believed that she did not feel resentful- she did feel wistful. She felt that there was only so much that she could make the best of. There were boundaries that couldn’t be crossed. She realised that she had to accept her reality- and best without rancour, regret or resentment.
Some conversations refused to be wiped away from memory- like the time when she overheard them saying how glad they were that they had made the decision to go away- far away from this place. That their home was elsewhere- they were willing to stretch themselves a bit now ad then because they had the reassurance of getting away soon- away from it all- to another world afar- a world of wishes and choices coming alive. She found herself wondering if she was living in a lesser place.
Perhaps it was all a mirage where the grass always looks greener on the other side.
She knew she had to make peace with her reality, convince herself that the existence of a sanctuary was in the mind.
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