When one is younger, one looks at each passing day with eager anticipation, one can’t wait to grow up. Milestones to be passed, thresholds to be crossed.
However, I now perceive each passing day/ weekend differently. I’m aware of passing time, years, like the slipping of sand from between my fingers. While I cannot say that I’m petrified, I must admit that I’m anxious about impending separations, coping with crises. And while I know that Life is all about the Here and Now, I realise that I’ve to take effort to shrug away the fears, the uncertainties of the Future.
I do not dwell upon such thoughts, but neither can I dissociate completely from the concept of mortality and the futility of everything. The idea remains as a backdrop in my consciousness. I admit that though this constant awareness does not dilute the essence of my present, yet I do feel a certain disenchantment at some level.
However, I now perceive each passing day/ weekend differently. I’m aware of passing time, years, like the slipping of sand from between my fingers. While I cannot say that I’m petrified, I must admit that I’m anxious about impending separations, coping with crises. And while I know that Life is all about the Here and Now, I realise that I’ve to take effort to shrug away the fears, the uncertainties of the Future.
I do not dwell upon such thoughts, but neither can I dissociate completely from the concept of mortality and the futility of everything. The idea remains as a backdrop in my consciousness. I admit that though this constant awareness does not dilute the essence of my present, yet I do feel a certain disenchantment at some level.
4 comments:
Ardra, we all do. It is a sign of maturity.
Ardra, just let life move along. THe discovery shall come by itself... :)
Ardra, wish you a great merry Christmas and a warm prosperous new year.!!
With Best Regards,
Srijith.
as a youngster i often think how elders percieve time . i always felt there was some difference in how i plan things and how more mature people do . but it seems that no matter how old one grows , time alwqays puzzles everyone .
Off topic - Template is very nice, Ardra.
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