The other day, I was hanging out clothes and I heard the distressed wail of a baby- I craned my neck and saw a baby crying his lungs out- he was lying on a bit of cloth under a tree on the ground below our building. His mother was doing some grinding or some other such work near by- she was talking to her baby as her hands continued toiling. The baby would hush for a while and then again resume crying lustily when he realized that his mother was too busy to carry him. Finally she stopped her work, washed her hands from a tap near by and then swooped the wailing baby in her arms- The infant stopped crying almost immediately as its mother continued talking to it… and I was suddenly conscious of this pang, an ache in the depths of my being...
At some point, I was aware of a longing , to run down and pick up the baby- to hold a baby, to cuddle it, to talk to it- to hear it make gurgling sounds- to smell its baby smell-
…There is this ad on TV( Johnsons baby product- obviously),in which the mother is so moved by the sight of her sleeping baby, and then there is this another one in which this kiddo upon observing a leaky pipe waddles off after swathing the leak with its own diaper! Another one in which the mother is speaking on the phone while keeping an eye on her baby- and suddenly the baby takes its first unsteady steps- she’s left holding the phone open mouthed- totally mesmerized by the magic unfolding in front of her-
My brother sends us the video of his toddler- and I think its so nice to have such memories recorded- I don’t have any of my sons- sometimes, when I read through old diary entries of my sons in their childhood, I feel a kind of loss- and I have less such records of my younger son- be it snaps or diary entries- and I feel so many beautiful memories have slipped beyond reach- and I enjoy reading fizo’s, Priya’s, and ano’s accounts of their babies-
and though I’m relieved that the sleepless nights- colic and other childhood ailments are behind me- still sometimes, I feel like revisiting those memories yet again…
Natasha Josefowitz
Where are the children of yesteryears?
Where is the infant suckling at my brest
I find no traces of her
In that other young mother…
Where is the little boy,
Who crept into my bed?
Is there anything left of him
In that balding young man?
My little children
Are no longer
They live only in old photographs-
Wouldn’t it be wonderful
If all our children
From all their past b’days
Could visit us just once in a while!
8 comments:
My son just started kindegarden this morning. I was fine until it was time to hug him bye and my voice cracked. He smiled at me and I knew it was the beginning of another phase in his life and the end of one in mine.
: )
I cant say I empathize with you, ardra, no children yet ! :)
But it is a tad saddening to see married couples viewing children all too often as something to be "afraid of" !
Where are the children of yesterday.. and where are the eager parents of yesteryears ! :P
~Uber
well, they are very much around, though after their kid is born uber :-p
I guess its as much paranoia as you see around with people hesitating to take the big step towards marriage, arranged or otherwise. Its a handful of choices people have now, that didnt quite exist before and the perennial insecurity of letting go of the backfoot while the front foot wants to stride on :-p
nice blog there btw ardra..like uber, self wont claim to empathize.
Hey Ardra,
Very lovely blog...very true and heartfelt as your writing always are.
I cant say I can empathize because I am still in the sleepless night, "sauce-over-the-lounge", sticky fingers and stuffed toys everywhere stage...but it has changed so fast from bibs, bassinets and first words to "Mum, let "I" talk".
They grow up too soon...and one day a gurgle becomes a memory :-)
Scarlett
Was here, read the blog, love the way you write....will write an incisive comment soon :)
-Crys
Thank u mint, uber, peps, scarlett and crys...
and crys pls go ahead :-)
ardra
Hey Ardra, Nice site and new comments style too!! Missed ya.
Nice post.. guess it feels like that.. cos I see my mom go on and on about when my sis and i were little.. Sometimes I want to tell her, "mom, I heard that a gadzillion number of times.." but then when I see the excitement in her eyes [it doesnt feel like she is talking about us, but rather some little kids that only she knows and we dont!!].. I dont feel like interrupting her.
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