As I walked down the only too familiar road, I very
consciously and deliberately tried to coerce my sleeping memories alive. I
searched for familiar sights, I tried to
breathe in familiar smells, I tried to rouse dormant sensations…I tried to retrace my steps, I closed my eyes, visualising images of the past.
I
saw nothing, smelt nothing, felt nothing. It was the same place and yet it was
no longer.
Everything felt unreal, empty. I had grieved the
passage of time, yearned for lost moments. Now I had come back but found
nothing that I thought I was seeking. Is there a sense of loss? No, not even that. Just an emptiness and a
numbness.
What had changed? The place? Perhaps…
It is I who have changed. Forever. I am no longer
that person.
That place in the depths of my heart no longer
exists outside. Finally I can stop looking for
it every time I return. Let sleeping memories lie...
Ref: Nostalgia: thy sting
Ref: Nostalgia: thy sting