On the other side...

On the other side

Tangle of Thoughts

Coming to terms with reality… what an ambiguous plateau that is for sure! Neither here nor there. There seems to be merely a diaphanous margin between the perceived and the imperceptible. Some random moment in time impinges upon the consciousness as real and yet its not so. What is not perceived is not truth?  One wants to desperately turn back time, position oneself at a specific point of reference , tweak with the yarns in the past, forge changes into the tapestry of the present. One is perplexed that it can’t be done?

That which was full of vivacity, that which pulsated with vibrancy is now still, mute- not even there? Can’t comprehend…

That with which one connected with the mind, the thoughts , feelings and emotions came to a naught because some organs stopped functioning? When one laughs, cries, loves a being, where does the lungs, liver and kidneys come into the picture? Where do those intangible things that one related to disappear to? What does one do when there is this unsurmountable need to call for, listen to and touch that which is no longer there? The memory of the voice is dissipating…but the density of the feelings linger…gets heavier with the passing moment and threatens to crush the self. The need to crystallize the memories is so intense that it hurts. Where does it hurt? Some place that cannot be seen, heard or touched…