Ulsavanaalukal
Other than the usual regular items of Panchavaadyam, Thayambaka- the chenda (percussion instrument) concerts- this years repertoire had Bharathanatyam recital by Rajashri Varier- she was a dancer and singer and also worked at the TVM doordarshan. Her face was familiar to most malayalis- who watched TVM doordarshan- She looked very young and small – her performance was good- but there seemed to be a kind of dissociation as she performed on stage- her movements and expressions were perfect and yet…there was something that I cannot quite put my finger on- that seemed to be missing- she could not complete her last item- Thillana- due to severe cramps- seems she had been down with fever and stringent rehearsals and the travel made her weak.
This year too, there was “Koodiyaattom” the Sanskrit dance drama- and it was much better than last year. The story enacted was a glimpse from Kalidasa’s “Shakunthalam”- and was presented as a visual narration by the “jester”- or the “Vidooshakan”- Each scene was explained in Malayalam and hence there was no problem in understanding the nuances- the narration is generously laced with humour and was a beautiful experience. The scene performed was that of how King Dushyantha sets out on a hunting spree, reaches the forest and there upon glimpsing the beautiful shakunthala is enamoured by her. The Vidooshakan narrates the events with contemporary societal and political allusions making it all the more entertaining.
The flute recital by Sri Kudamalur Janrdanan was very good- melliflous- i've always liked the flute- has an ethereal quality abt the sound of it- but somehow was unable to enjoy Dr. Sri valsans vocal concert much- they said he was good- but somehow I was not moved...Sanjay Subrahmanyan's concert the next evening was a stunning contrast- it was splendid to say the least- I guess he has that quality which can move the connosieur and the lay man alike- that he was having a great time playing with the swaras- added to both his and the listener's enjoyment- liked his rather no fuss air- no gimmicks- (which mebbe the flautist cud be accused of)- there was no "programmish" feel to his presentation either- he came, he sat, he sang to his hearts content, he got up- left- while Dr. Srivalsan, and the flautist had the "presentation" part rather formally- esp the flautist- Sanjay seemed most spontaneous- I liked that- while the flautist had a very neatly charted out "performance repertoire" and Dr. Sri valsan seemed amateurish in comparison- if I may dare to say so- Sri valsan also seemed to slip pitch wise now and then- may be with years- he'd be good- I’m not academically qualified to comment , I can evaluate only based on my ”reaction" to what I heard-
I had heard Sanjay live b4, at trichy- but the crowd was menacing and cud not get to enjoy as much as I would've liked to- the sampradaya bhajan on the last day was good- this same team had sung b4 in our colony in trichy - and it had been a very wonderful experience- here too they were very good- and i think the audience did enjoy it- for me the difference was that at trichy in our colony it was a spiritual experience, while here it was a stage performance.
I did not watch all the Kathakali stories in entirety- just in bits and pieces- this year most of the artistes were unfamiliar- and that did dilute my viewing experience- besides it rained on two days, and the venue had to be shifted from the open grounds to the closed, cramped environs of the agrashala. The puttars were very much at home, and they enjoyed the various programs, I was gratified- they stayed awake for some of the Kathakali stories-
Besides the festival repertoire, I enjoyed the company of my uncles- and their families- I savour my moments with them-
And thus yet another year’s temple festival had gone by…
Monday, May 23, 2005
At the Temple Festival-1
Returning- for now
2 days later, we left for Kottakkal- that special place in my heart- because it was temple Festival time…still I was not too enthusiastic abt going- the reasons- well, there were a few reasons which were not logical enough- as usual I was wary abt the reception, abt feeling welcome, I was doubtful if I’d be interested enough to stay awake thru the nightly performances of Kathakali- of late a strange kind of detachment has creeped over my soul- a a weird kind of disinterest in several things- why, and how, I’m not sure- I discern a sense of inclination towards keeping to myself, a need to dissociate myself from things happening around me- a lack of interest in participation- a need to stay aloof from what and whom, am not very sure, and I have to consciously work at arousing myself from this dumb stupor- simply because I feel that I’m not feeling the right things- I think it is a more selfish kind of instinct than anything else, and I have no idea why I feel this way- and perhaps it is this safe margin of virtuality that attracts me more than reality. Is it some kind of escapism? Virtuality entails lesser risk- risk of what- not sure exactly- may be something to do with space and freedom and privacy…
Anyways, let that be- yea, so here we were back again in my land of memories- yet another had gone by, and once again I was breathing the air of my favourite place. As usual there was a tinge of medicinal fragrance to the air with the Ayurvedic medicinal factory close by…I closed my eyes and breathed deeply- and in my mind I had returned home- I opened my eyes and familiarity vapourised…outwardly everything seemed the same- almost…but there was something different to the feeling of being there- last year too I had felt it, this year even more…what had changed- was it the place or perhaps it was me who had changed. Last year, there were still a few remnant vestiges of an overboding sense of loss- of a sense of alienness ( is there such a word?) a feeling of vague unrest…but today something was different. I had been clinging to a fast depleting sense of belonging, unwilling to let go, insisting on remembered belongingness- a sense of remembered proprietership. and yet today- I did not feel the need to hold on anymore- I was finally ready to let go- I was finally ready to accept that I had moved on- and so had everything else and everyone else- I no longer belonged- I was only a visitor- I had been holding on to a mirage- This place was no more a coming back to- it was just a visit- and that is how it would always be- I belonged elsewhere- atleast for now- until I move on again- why had I been so reluctant to accept the facts? Why did I want to cling on to something so ephemeral? I don’t know…somewhere it still rankles, but I can take it now… of course I still had the memories- nobody can take that away, that which had been- once, long ago…
Some of the older people recognized my face- they remembered how I too had been a part of this place- the youngsters of course were courteous to the visitor- they had no idea how much “their” place meant to this visitor who would return to another place…they had no idea- Until last year, I felt slightly miffed at this feeling of not being accepted as belonging, but this year, I did not. Yet again, a few sleeping memories rustled- caught up with times- made polite enquiries- how have u been? Everything fine? and a whole year got reduced into a single syllable ‘yes’. Where did all the intermittent moments go? What did it matter at this point of time? And finally after the festival was over, the festoons and capers came down- the drums and cymbals silenced, - Farewell…yet again- until may be next year? And what are the moments that await each of us until then?
2 days later, we left for Kottakkal- that special place in my heart- because it was temple Festival time…still I was not too enthusiastic abt going- the reasons- well, there were a few reasons which were not logical enough- as usual I was wary abt the reception, abt feeling welcome, I was doubtful if I’d be interested enough to stay awake thru the nightly performances of Kathakali- of late a strange kind of detachment has creeped over my soul- a a weird kind of disinterest in several things- why, and how, I’m not sure- I discern a sense of inclination towards keeping to myself, a need to dissociate myself from things happening around me- a lack of interest in participation- a need to stay aloof from what and whom, am not very sure, and I have to consciously work at arousing myself from this dumb stupor- simply because I feel that I’m not feeling the right things- I think it is a more selfish kind of instinct than anything else, and I have no idea why I feel this way- and perhaps it is this safe margin of virtuality that attracts me more than reality. Is it some kind of escapism? Virtuality entails lesser risk- risk of what- not sure exactly- may be something to do with space and freedom and privacy…
Anyways, let that be- yea, so here we were back again in my land of memories- yet another had gone by, and once again I was breathing the air of my favourite place. As usual there was a tinge of medicinal fragrance to the air with the Ayurvedic medicinal factory close by…I closed my eyes and breathed deeply- and in my mind I had returned home- I opened my eyes and familiarity vapourised…outwardly everything seemed the same- almost…but there was something different to the feeling of being there- last year too I had felt it, this year even more…what had changed- was it the place or perhaps it was me who had changed. Last year, there were still a few remnant vestiges of an overboding sense of loss- of a sense of alienness ( is there such a word?) a feeling of vague unrest…but today something was different. I had been clinging to a fast depleting sense of belonging, unwilling to let go, insisting on remembered belongingness- a sense of remembered proprietership. and yet today- I did not feel the need to hold on anymore- I was finally ready to let go- I was finally ready to accept that I had moved on- and so had everything else and everyone else- I no longer belonged- I was only a visitor- I had been holding on to a mirage- This place was no more a coming back to- it was just a visit- and that is how it would always be- I belonged elsewhere- atleast for now- until I move on again- why had I been so reluctant to accept the facts? Why did I want to cling on to something so ephemeral? I don’t know…somewhere it still rankles, but I can take it now… of course I still had the memories- nobody can take that away, that which had been- once, long ago…
Some of the older people recognized my face- they remembered how I too had been a part of this place- the youngsters of course were courteous to the visitor- they had no idea how much “their” place meant to this visitor who would return to another place…they had no idea- Until last year, I felt slightly miffed at this feeling of not being accepted as belonging, but this year, I did not. Yet again, a few sleeping memories rustled- caught up with times- made polite enquiries- how have u been? Everything fine? and a whole year got reduced into a single syllable ‘yes’. Where did all the intermittent moments go? What did it matter at this point of time? And finally after the festival was over, the festoons and capers came down- the drums and cymbals silenced, - Farewell…yet again- until may be next year? And what are the moments that await each of us until then?
While on Vacation...
The heat is sweltering, agninakshathram is in its flaming splendour- this vacation has been one hectic sultry, sweaty hols..and I have to consciously seek out the random, cool, memorable moments. Sometimes its amazing that the climate can loom so hugely and detrimentally over one’s experiences…
I’m now finally back after a hectic vacation- once again settled into the ‘routine’ that is Life…and yet for me it is so much fulfilling, soothening and cosy abt coming back into my space. However I’m deprived of my virtual forays, because there is some problem with the broadband access server. DSS seems like another world, another time…esp with the shift to the new space. I had been putting off registering and then pottering with the various options until after the vacations, and now that the holidays are over, I still am out of reach. It has been a long time, and I am thinking over the memory span of the virtual world. As it is I have been into the depths of “real life” these past 2 months…where the virtual world seemed like Alice’s Wonderland… I was among people who had no idea of my “other” world…it all seemed so far away and unreal- like a mirage, an illusion, as I was frantically smothering my face and neck with a dripping towel in a vain attempt to cope with the excruciating heat as our train chugged through the dry, arid tracks of Andhra-
If my last vacation was languorously laid back and relaxed, this year it was quite the opposite- Packing, unpacking, washing, ironing, settling down sums up the hols…and in between, there were these snatches of some special moments…
I first went to my parents home in April- V saw us off…and I had already begun to miss him- I shed tears unabashedly- I always did that- V tried to make light of the situation, the elder puttar was embarrassedly checking if the other passengers were watching. The train lugged off impersonally, and V vanished from my view…I swallowed hard…We bought some books from the Erode station- it was noon when we reached Palakkad- Achhan was waiting for us…amma had lunch waiting at home.
next: at the temple festival....
I’m now finally back after a hectic vacation- once again settled into the ‘routine’ that is Life…and yet for me it is so much fulfilling, soothening and cosy abt coming back into my space. However I’m deprived of my virtual forays, because there is some problem with the broadband access server. DSS seems like another world, another time…esp with the shift to the new space. I had been putting off registering and then pottering with the various options until after the vacations, and now that the holidays are over, I still am out of reach. It has been a long time, and I am thinking over the memory span of the virtual world. As it is I have been into the depths of “real life” these past 2 months…where the virtual world seemed like Alice’s Wonderland… I was among people who had no idea of my “other” world…it all seemed so far away and unreal- like a mirage, an illusion, as I was frantically smothering my face and neck with a dripping towel in a vain attempt to cope with the excruciating heat as our train chugged through the dry, arid tracks of Andhra-
If my last vacation was languorously laid back and relaxed, this year it was quite the opposite- Packing, unpacking, washing, ironing, settling down sums up the hols…and in between, there were these snatches of some special moments…
I first went to my parents home in April- V saw us off…and I had already begun to miss him- I shed tears unabashedly- I always did that- V tried to make light of the situation, the elder puttar was embarrassedly checking if the other passengers were watching. The train lugged off impersonally, and V vanished from my view…I swallowed hard…We bought some books from the Erode station- it was noon when we reached Palakkad- Achhan was waiting for us…amma had lunch waiting at home.
next: at the temple festival....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)