Sunday, July 17, 2011

Mirrors don't lie!


 As a little girl, I was happy with what the mirror told me.  I had no concept of being ugly and even believed myself to be beautiful. I could preen in front of the mirror for hours, playing with my hair, wearing huge dangly earrings. I had long thick hair falling upto my waist, and tendrils fell around my cheeks. - a la- Shobhana. The world was a happy place.
And then I grew up. I no longer liked what the mirror told me. A too narrow face, hollow cheeks, spectacles, a dracula tooth to boot! The hair was all but gone as a result of hostel life.  I did not think I was ugly, but neither was I happy.
Then marriage happened. I woke up a beautiful woman. The mirror was neglected. Kids came. Priorities changed. I was content.
The children were growing. Life was changing. I found time to explore new options- Music, Dance, blogging, new friends, a job, learnt to travel in and around the town on my own ( which I had not ventured to do before), and courted success even on the academic front! I was rediscovering myself at various levels. The mirror was not needed. Compliments  received came as a pleasant surprise. I was happy, confident of the person that I had become.
Six months ahead. A few crises in the family. Pain, sorrow, fear, reminders of the transience of life... People started noticing and commenting on visible changes. I had become thinner, my neck was drawn. Biological changes. It felt like I had aged overnight!  I became more concerned about the health factor. Once again, I sought the mirror. I noticed the pepper and salt streaked hair, the crows feet and dark circles around the eyes, the laugh lines. Photos taken were deleted with vehemence. Confidence hit the lowest ebb .
The family's reassurances were not enough to bolster self esteem. Compliments on FB were but a temporary solace. I had read somewhere that no one looked as bad as in their voter's identity card nor as good as in their FB profile picture. :-)
I had once resolved that when the time came, I would age gracefully. Not as easy as I had imagined. I believed that I was not too concerned about good looks, just about neatness and presentability may be. .. Obviously I had been deluding myself.
Just a matter of time...shall learn to accept the ravages of nature. :-)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh absolutely! The mirror is an optimist, it keeps reflecting hope! :) Aging is tough, in more ways than one. Mostly a major disconnect between mind and body, no?

ano

Hip Grandma said...

Out of choice I had stopped dyeing my hair a little before turning sixty. To be honest I do not like what the mirror says. An examiner who came for practical exams advised me to continue to dye my hair. His wife who is a home maker does it it seems. According to him one feels good when he/she looks good and there are other ways to age gracefully.

Ardra said...

True ano.

Yes, HG, I too think that one feels good and confident when one looks good.

Thank you ano, HG.

Sh@s said...

If only we could accept reality we would learn to age gracefully. We should realize that its the inner peace and beauty that adds to our external beauty. One of the ladies whom I admire the most who is aging gracefully is Nafisa Ali. Who is as charming and beautiful with her grey hair as she was in her younger days.

Gandharv said...

Ageless Beauty Comes from Within.

Mirror can show you the outer appearance; your eyes also can only show you outer appearance. All these attributes are temporary. What if you’re seeing is not true? Have you thought about it? Let me give an example. Light has 7 colors (Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, Red). When you look at a leaf you can see it as green color because leaf absorbs all other colors and reflects only green. In reality what is the color of leaf? It is made up of all the colors except green.

All these outer appearance is not the real YOU. They are temporary and change with time. Look within and see for your self the real YOU?

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. Inner beauty is more important than outside beauty. Outer beauty fades as you get old, inner doesn’t. So, if we make the effort to keep our mind fresh and clear filling it with all the goodness, innocence and truth and towards becoming pure and holy soul, we'll be happier and this in turn vibrates the inner beauty of yours to the surroundings.

Smile!

Ardra said...

Yes, Sh@s, what you say is indeed true.

Gandharv!
Sometimes,one tends to waver with outward appearances, and then we need a gentle reminder to seek within...Thank you for the timely nudge.
:-)

Anonymous said...

aging is part of everybody's life. as u say, v are happiest when we are children for we don't worry about anything. our health is taken care of by our parents. but now, it is time to pamper and take care of yourself. count your blessings and smile. u can find yourself glowing like a little girl!

Preeti Shenoy said...

Beauty is only skin deep.
A person who is truly beautiful is the one who is beautiful from the INSIDE..
Thank you for leaving such a heart warming comment on a post that meant a lot to me.
Love
Preeti

Manju M said...

what i feel is -there comes a time when we look at ourselves with a complex, a complex which everyone has, at least at some point of time, external beauty is time bound, even the most beautiful person will be feeling the same, but then what actually matters is how beautiful ur soul is, heart is the mirror of ur soul, leave rest of the things aside, ask yourself again, aren't you beautiful?

Jyothi said...

At times it's a crime to be born beautiful. People always think that you can't possibly have brains too! So I prefer being intelligent anyday. Beauty will fade with time, but if Alzheimer's doesn't hit first, intelligence will last! I guess at times you look into the mirror for consolation, when everything else is falling apart around you or when you feel helpless!

Arunima said...

I grew up thinking I am beautiful. I think I am at my best now. I don't like my old pictures. I feel I look my best now. I am sure, when I am forty, I will feel I am more beautiful and I will realise that I was not good looking in my thirties. I am gonna die in my eities thinking I am looking the best. :-) It's in the confidence, and I know I am crazy. The mirror has always made me feel this way.
:-)

shankari said...

Hi! Am back to your blog after ages. Seems you have done a lot of growing up in this time I've been away. ;)

But ya, suddenly I woke up one day feeling beautiful and everyone seems to agree - my nearly all-grown-up kids too!

Stay beautiful. :)