However, I now perceive each passing day/ weekend differently. I’m aware of passing time, years, like the slipping of sand from between my fingers. While I cannot say that I’m petrified, I must admit that I’m anxious about impending separations, coping with crises. And while I know that Life is all about the Here and Now, I realise that I’ve to take effort to shrug away the fears, the uncertainties of the Future.
I do not dwell upon such thoughts, but neither can I dissociate completely from the concept of mortality and the futility of everything. The idea remains as a backdrop in my consciousness. I admit that though this constant awareness does not dilute the essence of my present, yet I do feel a certain disenchantment at some level.